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Is is good for children to start using cmputers from an early age and spend long hours on it ?

Is is good for children to start using cmputers from an early age and spend long hours on it? m2y2O
In the new era, technology has become a necersary in our daily basic needs, that this why it could not easy to limited to use it. To say the true, there would be more disadvantages for children who use computer in early age. on the other hand there are many impect of on not only for children but also young peoples. whether computer has boom much argument. Some people argue that a children who spend too much time on computer in a early age can be affect on their eyes side. On the other hand, for those who sit long hours on the chair could be suffer more backhage early than who do not. There are many people who argue that the benefit of using computer impact on their life in an early age. Students who are taking their time for long hours on chair may not be heatly as by sitting long hours backhage. To say the true, as a children thos who do not understand using computer there are many benifited for thir live. Anyway, majority of young people just fouce on game they do not know the valuce of time. On the othe hand, there are much advantage by using computer early than who do not. I believe that chidren who can operated computer early could know how tehcenology can made our live better.
In the new era, technology has become a
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necersary
in our daily basic needs, that this why it could not easy to limited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. To say the true, there would be more disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
age.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand there are
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many
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impect
of on not
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only
for
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children
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but
also
young
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peoples
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whether
computer has
Use past participle here: "boomed".
boom
much argument.
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Some
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people
argue that a
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend too much time on computer in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
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early
age can be
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their eyes side.
On the other hand
, for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
sit long hours on the chair could be
Consider using the past participle "suffered"?
suffer
more
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backhage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
do not.

There are
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue that the benefit of using computer impact on their life in an
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early
age. Students
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who
are taking their time for long hours on chair may not be
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heatly
as by sitting long hours
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backhage
. To say the true, as a
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children
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thos
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who
do not understand using computer there are
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many
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benifited
for
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thir
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Anyway,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
young
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people
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just
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fouce
on game they do not know the
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valuce
of time.

On the
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othe
hand, there are much advantage by using computer
Use "earlier" to make a comparison with this adjective.
early
than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
do not. I believe that
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chidren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can operated computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
could know how
Possible spelling mistake found.
tehcenology
can made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better.
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IELTS essay Is is good for children to start using cmputers from an early age and spend long hours on it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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