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Internet or media is bad for young people they make the young generation poor in communication and forming relationships. Do you agree with this opinion? please use examples or your personal experience to support your idea.

Internet or media is bad for young people they make the young generation poor in communication and forming relationships. Do you agree with this opinion? please use examples or your personal experience to support your idea. Lrqyn
Recently, the phenomenon of social network and it's corresponding impact has sparked heated a debate. Although contested by many that the matter of teenager communication skill poor is highly beneficial such issue is regarded thoroughly both constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. I am inclined to believe that forming relationship can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay. To begin with, a variety of reasons can be offered to explain this essay, The social networking is most important part of the new generation, Internet give knowledge, learn new activity as well as work banking business. First and foremost among these are the fact that, media is young generation rich for communication skill and develop their personal life. According to my own experience, when I was a university student, I performed academic experiment communication skill. Moving on to consider opposing argument put forward they claim that on the other side of the hence, Internet and media between to part are depending each other, so those are using in early life. Last but not least, some student using various types of companies application, they join distance learning course. To conclude, while there are several compelling arguments on both sides, I profoundly believe that the benefits of social network far outweigh it's drawbacks, not only do the advantages of news television prove the significance of strong relationship but also pinpoint communication skill implications
Recently, the phenomenon of social network and it's corresponding impact has sparked heated a debate. Although contested by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the matter of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
poor is
highly
beneficial such issue
is regarded
thoroughly
both constructive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
by a substantial number of individuals. I
am inclined
to believe that forming relationship can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a variety of reasons can
be offered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this essay, The social networking is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the new generation, Internet give knowledge, learn new activity
as well
as work banking business.
First
and foremost among these are the fact that, media is young generation rich for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and develop their personal life. According to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, when I was a university student, I performed academic experiment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

Moving on to consider opposing argument put forward they claim that on the other side of the
hence
, Internet and media between to part
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
those are using in early life. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
student using various types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
application, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
distance learning course.

To conclude
, while there are several compelling arguments on both sides, I
profoundly
believe that the benefits of social network far outweigh
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
drawbacks, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do the advantages of news television prove the significance of strong relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pinpoint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
implications
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IELTS essay Internet or media is bad for young people they make the young generation poor in communication and forming relationships. Do you agree with this opinion? please use examples or your personal experience to support your idea.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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