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Internet forms of storage

Internet forms of storage nXdNo
Stepping into the 21st-century fourth industrial revolution has set its foot in all spheres of our life as well as bridged the physical and digital worlds including changing the place where human beings preserve the enormous amount of knowledge from books to the internet. Personally, I believe the upsides of this trend outweigh the downsides. On the one hand, the benefits ebooks bring to us are undeniable that results in an ever-increase in people preferring online books. First and foremost, in this busy world, everything needs to be time-saving and using the internet costs extremely less time than reading books. To illustrate in the past, students had to spend time visiting several shops to purchase books while now a click which takes just a few seconds can literally solve all their problems. This is why using the internet has long been regarded as the most convenient way to approach comprehension regardless of time or accommodation. Consequently, people can easily search for everything every time and every place. Also, e-books are absolutely more eco-friendly than traditional paper books which caused deforestation and induce a higher level of pollution all over the world. Furthermore, people can access almost everything online on free websites which can save a great amount of money but still fulfil their requirements such as Wikipedia - the biggest storage of knowledge kept online. This way can reduce pressure on busy people such as students or businessmen who need to do research nearly every day. On the other hand, admittedly, storing knowledge on the internet also has some drawbacks. First of all, constantly using digital devices such as laptops or smartphones is likely to cause several physical problems such as eye strain and backache. Moreover, people, especially young children, can get short-sighted due to hours looking at screens. It has been proved that electromagnetic waves from phones or computers can harm our brain badly and lead to memory loss. It is also notable that the nonstop growth in the number of free books or documentaries would result in pirating. As a matter of fact, this phenomenon has destroyed the likelihood of many potential authors and it is not easy to handle plagiarism. In conclusion, I think those aforementioned disadvantages can be controlled with the help of the government and people themselves to put a limit on the usage of the Internet. On balance, I reckon that storing knowledge online would be given precedence over paper books owing to their numerous merits.
Stepping into the 21st-century fourth industrial revolution has set its foot in all spheres of our life
as well
as bridged the physical and digital worlds including changing the place where human beings preserve the enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to the internet.
Personally
, I believe the upsides of this trend outweigh the downsides.

On the one hand, the benefits
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
bring to us are undeniable that results in an ever-increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
First
and foremost, in this busy world, everything needs to be time-saving and using the internet costs
extremely
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. To illustrate in the past, students had to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
visiting several shops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a click which takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few seconds can
literally
solve all their problems. This is why using the internet has long
been regarded
as the most convenient way to approach comprehension regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or accommodation.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
search for everything every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and every place.
Also
, e-books are
absolutely
more eco-friendly than traditional paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which caused deforestation and induce a higher level of pollution all over the world.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access almost everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
on free websites which can save a great amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
fulfil their requirements such as Wikipedia
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the biggest storage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This way can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pressure on busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as students or businessmen who need to do research
nearly
every day.

On the other hand
,
admittedly
, storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on the internet
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
constantly
using digital devices such as laptops or smartphones is likely to cause several physical problems such as eye strain and backache.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young children, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
short-sighted due to hours looking at screens. It has
been proved
that electromagnetic waves from phones or computers can harm our brain
badly
and lead to memory loss. It is
also
notable that the nonstop growth in the number of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or documentaries would result in pirating. As a matter of fact, this phenomenon has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the likelihood of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potential authors and it is not easy to handle plagiarism.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
those aforementioned disadvantages can
be controlled
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves to put a limit on the usage of the Internet. On balance, I reckon that storing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
precedence over paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
owing to their numerous merits.
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IELTS essay Internet forms of storage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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