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Info technology is altering lots of sides in our daily life and currently take over our family activities, entertain and occupation. The advantages of info technology far outweigh the disadvantages. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective.

Info technology is altering lots of sides in our daily life and currently take over our family activities, entertain and occupation. The advantages of info technology far outweigh the disadvantages. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective. QMO5L
Info technology is altering lots of sides in our daily life and currently take over our family activities, entertain and occupation. The advantages of info technology far outweigh the disadvantages. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective. There are merits of info technology opens up many learning and job opportunities for us. This is because we learn not only from books but also through social networks. As well as this in the past people just learnt in school throughs the pages of books but now everyone can learn with just a smartphone. We can learn everywhere, everytime. To illustrate, some recent stories in the media highlighted that eventhough we stay at home, we also study with friend all over the world through online apps such as Zoom, Google Meet, … In addition, study online help you flexible in time and have more options. Info technology will make it easier for you to connect with various opportunities in order to achieve your desires. However, there are also advantages of shorten the distance and connect people with each other. First of all, geographic distance will easily divide people’s emotions. As well as this many people have to go far from home to study and work so they cannot see their family for a long time. Many people feel that this aspect for I have study abroad in Canada for 2 years thus I miss my family very much. Thanks to the advancement of info technology, I can see them everytime I want. In addtion, you can make new friends on social networks. It can helps you not to feel lonely and cure mental illnesses. In conclusion, I believe both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance, however, it seems that the advantages of info technology far outweigh the disadvantages. This is because owing to info technology we achieved many great achievements to help the world develop more and more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Info
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is altering lots of sides in our daily life and
currently
take over our family activities, entertain and occupation. The advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
far outweigh the disadvantages. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.

There are merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
opens up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
learning and job opportunities for us. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we learn not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
through social networks.
As well
as this in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in school
Possible spelling mistake found.
throughs
the pages of books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
everyone can learn with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a smartphone. We can learn everywhere,
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recent stories in the media highlighted that
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
we stay at home, we
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with friend all over the world through online apps such as Zoom, Google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Meet
, …
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you flexible in time and have more options.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Info
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for you to connect with various opportunities in order to achieve your desires.

However
, there are
also
advantages of shorten the distance and connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with each other.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, geographic distance will
easily
divide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
emotions.
As well
as this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go far from home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their family for a long time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that this aspect for I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
abroad in Canada for 2 years
thus
I miss my family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. Thanks to the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
I want. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
addtion
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends on social networks. It can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
you not to feel lonely and cure mental illnesses.

In conclusion
, I believe both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance,
however
, it seems that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
far outweigh the disadvantages. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
info
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great achievements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the world develop more and more.
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IELTS essay Info technology is altering lots of sides in our daily life and currently take over our family activities, entertain and occupation. The advantages of info technology far outweigh the disadvantages. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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