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Individual freedom should be valued over other social values because society is for an individual and not vice versa. Discuss and give your opinion.

Individual freedom should be valued over other social values because society is for an individual and not vice versa. Discuss and give your opinion. gGaAD
Nowadays, more importance is given to individual freedom rather than to social values. Some argue that it should be so as person is for society and not vice versa. This essay will explain both the views and give reasons why I believe individual freedom with some restrictions is a better option. On one hand, some believe that people should give more importance to their individual freedom instead of societal values. There are mainly two reasons for this belief, freedom to express and difference in thinking. Firstly, youngsters nowadays want to express whatever they feel or experience. While society never stops them from doing so, they do judge them. For instance, a boy who bought his first car and posted about it on social media is likely to be judged for the car he has bought. Moreover, there are many differences in thinking of the young and the old people. As society comprises of both, there are chances of contradiction in thoughts. For example, a young man who believes that technology can be used for beneficial purposes is opposed by an old man who thinks it is just for entertainment purposes. However, it does give rise to differences among people. It is better to enjoy freedom but with some limitation. Thus, due to different beliefs many people think that having individual freedom with some constraints is a better option. On the contrary, others think that we must follow societal values as everyone is a part of it. They think that if we follow the societal values it preserves our culture. Society is mainly based on the cultural beliefs because of which, they argue that in order to retain our culture from disappearing it is better that people start preserving it by following it in their daily lives. To preserve culture and maintain a code of conduct in the society it is preferred to follow social values. To sum up, I believe that enjoying freedom with some restrictions is a better option to preserve culture as well as to enjoy personal space.
Nowadays, more importance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
rather
than to social values.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that it should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as person is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and not vice versa. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the views and give reasons why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give more importance to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
instead
of societal values. There are
mainly
two reasons for this belief,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to express and difference in thinking.
Firstly
, youngsters nowadays want to express whatever they feel or experience. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
them from doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they do judge them.
For instance
, a boy who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
his
first
car and posted about it on social media is likely to
be judged
for the car he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
differences in thinking of the young and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
both, there are chances of contradiction in thoughts.
For example
, a young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that technology can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for beneficial purposes
is opposed
by an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for entertainment purposes.
However
, it does give rise to differences among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitation.
Thus
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
constraints is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option.

On the contrary
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow societal values as everyone is a part of it. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that if we follow the societal values it preserves our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
is
mainly
based on the cultural beliefs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which, they argue that in order to retain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
from disappearing it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
preserving it by following it in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and maintain a code of conduct in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
it
is preferred
to follow social values.

To sum up, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as well
as to enjoy personal space.
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IELTS essay Individual freedom should be valued over other social values because society is for an individual and not vice versa. Discuss and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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