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Increased involvement in video games

Increased involvement in video games Gw6rj
Access to computers has significantly got a boom in recent decades. These days majority of citizens have got their hands on computers. Not only have adults shown interest, but also small children know how to operate computers and play video games. This essay will discuss surge in child's decision making abilities and one can build a career in gaming field as prominent benefits along with drawbacks Primarily, the vitally imperature advantages of playing Video games are that child's ability to react and take right decisions in any intense situation will be astonishing. Indeed, it is not a sudden process, it takes time and results are gracious if one is regular. For example, these days children are playing PUBG which demands their players to think, be attentive and take right decisions otherwise they will loose. By the influence of this game, children are usually very attentive and efficient in making decision fort hem and how to react. Additionally, gaming sector is becoming the most the paid and demanding sector for professionals even for underdogs. One can get a of opportunities to start their career by joining several national as well as international teams but for one to be successful, one have to work restlessly; however one can surely be successful if one tries Asserting further, the significantly important disadvantages of playing video games are child's addictiveness and less exposure to physical activities. Admittedly, video games are fun to play for relaxation unless it leads to addictiveness of games. For example, In India people frequently see the news of children getting addicted to game and having becoming victims of various disorders. Not only having severe disorders but there are also some cases in which children stole money or used credit cards to do in-app purchases. Additionally, the often involvement of games reduces children's time for physical activities and playing outdoor. Although, video games are also relaxing and fun but cannot owerweighs the aid of physical activities to one In conclusion, today, almost every house has a Computer and many children play computer or video games Playing video games have severe benefits and as well as consequences on children. This discussed about the increased efficiency in reaction time and decisive making property and also one can build their career in gaming, as the vital advantages; however addiction to games and physical Consequences as the and worthwhile drawbacks of the same.
Access to computers has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a boom in recent decades. These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
majority of citizens have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their hands on computers. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have adults shown interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
know how to operate computers and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will discuss surge in child's
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
abilities and one can build a career in gaming field as prominent benefits along with drawbacks
Primarily
, the
vitally
Possible spelling mistake found.
imperature
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are that child's ability to react and take right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in any intense situation will be astonishing.
Indeed
, it is not a sudden process, it takes time and results are gracious if one is regular.
For example
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
PUBG which demands their players to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, be attentive and take right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
otherwise
they will
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
. By the influence of this game,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attentive and efficient in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
fort hem and how to react.
Additionally
, gaming sector is becoming the most the paid and demanding sector for professionals even for underdogs. One can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
of opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career by joining several national
as well
as international teams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for one to be successful, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
restlessly
;
however
one can
surely
be successful if one tries Asserting
further
, the
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are child's
Possible spelling mistake found.
addictiveness
and less exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are fun to play for relaxation unless it leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
addictiveness
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
, In India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the news of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
getting addicted to game and having becoming victims of various disorders. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
having severe disorders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stole money or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
credit cards to do in-app
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
children's time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
outdoor. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
also
relaxing and fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot
Possible spelling mistake found.
owerweighs
the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities to one

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, almost every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has a Computer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play computer or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have severe benefits and
as well
as consequences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This
Did you mean simply "discussed the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about the
increased efficiency in reaction time and decisive making property and
also
one can build their career in gaming, as the vital advantages;
however
addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
Consequences as the and worthwhile drawbacks of the same.
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IELTS essay Increased involvement in video games

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
397 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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