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Increase in Online shopping

Increase in Online shopping 1keDn
Recently, online shopping has been invented and developed to provide comprehensive service to every customer. Therefore, there is an increase in the number of people purchasing things online. This essay discusses both positive and negative aspects of the aforementioned circumstance. To begin with, online shopping has various benefits to both customers and companies. First of all, shopping online provides clients with a more convenient life. As they could make an order for stuff they want without going to the store. Moreover, there is plenty of merchandise available online. You could choose the one you prefer, then it will be delivered directly to your location. Secondly, it enables companies to reach more customers. To elaborate, worldwide shipping is available, therefore sellers can sell things to every customer, even from far away. Despite the advantages, some disadvantages come alongside. It has been reported that online shopping is easy to get fraud. Customers may be deceived by great offers, such as an extraordinarily low-price product, and then end up receiving a fake product or not receiving anything at all. Apart from this, online sellers have to face marketplace saturation. Unlike an offline business that there will be only 1 or 2 competitors in the same area, online companies are pitted against dozens or hundreds of competitors across the world. To summarise, internet-based shopping provides customers a more convenient life and increase reach to customers of companies. However, it brings about several problems which are consumers are easily deceived and businesses will encounter more competition.
Recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
been invented
and developed to provide comprehensive service to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
.
Therefore
, there is an increase in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
purchasing things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This essay discusses both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of the aforementioned circumstance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has various benefits to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
provides clients with a more convenient life. As they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an order for stuff they want without going to the store.
Moreover
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of merchandise available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. You could choose the one you prefer, then it will
be delivered
directly
to your location.
Secondly
, it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to reach more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. To elaborate, worldwide shipping is available,
therefore
sellers can sell things to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
, even from far away.

Despite the advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
alongside. It has
been reported
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fraud.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Customers
may
be deceived
by great offers, such as an
extraordinarily
low-price product, and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up receiving a fake product or not receiving anything at all. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face marketplace saturation. Unlike an offline business that there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 or 2 competitors in the same area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are pitted
against dozens or hundreds of competitors across the world.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
a more convenient life and increase reach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
However
, it brings about several problems which are consumers are
easily
deceived and businesses will encounter more competition.
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IELTS essay Increase in Online shopping

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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