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In today's modern world, people have frenetic schedules. In spite of having a plethora of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit now-a-days when compared to the past. In this essay I am going to elucidate certain causes of this problem and give some valuable suggestions to overcome this issue. Firstly, everyone are busy with their work. So they couldn't find leisure time to make themselves fit. Even if they get free time, in order to get relief from the stress, they are involved in the activities like watching tv, playing video games etc with a great alacrity rather than doing exercises. The second reason might be money problem. Their budget may not be sufficient to go the gym centers. And also the third reason is education system has become so advanced that the sports time has been reduced in the schools. So students spend a lot of time in studies rather than playing outdoor sports. Fitness is essential for everyone. Otherwise it may lead to some detrimental effects. So s

In today's modern world, people have frenetic schedules. In spite of having a plethora of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit now-a-days when compared to the past. In this essay I am going to elucidate certain causes of this problem and give some valuable suggestions to overcome this issue. Firstly, everyone are busy with their work. So they couldn't find leisure time to make themselves fit. Even if they get free time, in order to get relief from the stress, they are involved in the activities like watching tv, playing video games etc with a great alacrity rather than doing exercises. The second reason might be money problem. Their budget may not be sufficient to go the gym centers. And also the third reason is education system has become so advanced that the sports time has been reduced in the schools. So students spend a lot of time in studies rather than playing outdoor sports. Fitness is essential for everyone. Otherwise it may lead to some detrimental effects. So s MMmQ6
In today's modern world, people have frenetic schedules. In spite of having a plethora of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit now-a-days when compared to the past. In this essay I am going to elucidate certain causes of this problem and give some valuable suggestions to overcome this issue. Firstly, everyone are busy with their work. So they couldn't find leisure time to make themselves fit. Even if they get free time, in order to get relief from the stress, they are involved in the activities like watching tv, playing video games etc with a great alacrity rather than doing exercises. The second reason might be money problem. Their budget may not be sufficient to go the gym centers. And also the third reason is education system has become so advanced that the sports time has been reduced in the schools. So students spend a lot of time in studies rather than playing outdoor sports. Fitness is essential for everyone. Otherwise it may lead to some detrimental effects. So some of the suggestions from my side to stay fit include they should stop spending time on playstation, gadgets and join the gym. People who can't afford joining the gym can do workouts at their home by watching online. Even students should play outdoor sports to make them healthy. And also awareness should be created among the public regarding the necessity of doing exercises, sports etc. Finally, I conclude that internet, games, job and improper food habits might be the biggest reasons for peoples  unhealthy lifestyle and made them sedentary. So some of the measures like public awareness, encouraging to play sports, taking membership in the gyms should be implemented to make everyone hale and healthy.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have frenetic schedules.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
having a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less fit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days when compared to the past.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this essay I am going to elucidate certain causes of this problem and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable suggestions to overcome this issue.

Firstly
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
busy with their work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they couldn't find leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves fit. Even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relief from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, they
are involved
in the activities like watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, playing video games etc with a great alacrity
rather
than doing exercises. The second reason might be money problem. Their budget may not be sufficient to go the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
centers. And
also
the third reason is education system has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
students spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in studies
rather
than playing outdoor sports.

Fitness is essential for everyone.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
it may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
suggestions from my side to stay fit include they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
playstation
, gadgets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who can't afford joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
can do workouts at their home by watching online. Even students should play outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them healthy. And
also
awareness should
be created
among the public regarding the necessity of doing exercises,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
etc.

Finally
, I conclude that internet, games, job and improper food habits might be the biggest reasons for peoples
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
unhealthy lifestyle and made them sedentary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
measures like public awareness, encouraging
Did you mean "playing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, taking membership in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
should
be implemented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everyone hale and healthy.
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IELTS essay In today's modern world, people have frenetic schedules. In spite of having a plethora of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit now-a-days when compared to the past. In this essay I am going to elucidate certain causes of this problem and give some valuable suggestions to overcome this issue. Firstly, everyone are busy with their work. So they couldn't find leisure time to make themselves fit. Even if they get free time, in order to get relief from the stress, they are involved in the activities like watching tv, playing video games etc with a great alacrity rather than doing exercises. The second reason might be money problem. Their budget may not be sufficient to go the gym centers. And also the third reason is education system has become so advanced that the sports time has been reduced in the schools. So students spend a lot of time in studies rather than playing outdoor sports. Fitness is essential for everyone. Otherwise it may lead to some detrimental effects. So s

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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