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In this contemporary world where money matters a lot, a person has to learn the skill of living

In this contemporary world where money matters a lot, a person has to learn the skill of living pReDy
In this contemporary world where money matters a lot, a person has to learn the skill of living. It is quite common in today’s world that many students go to college in various cities other than their hometown whereas some prefer living with their family for their studies. In my opinion, although staying with family has many advantages, however, staying alone and far from home is much more beneficial for the overall development of a student. This essay will discuss the various advantages of staying away from home in contrast to staying with them. To begin with, staying alone and far from family needs lots of patience. Firstly, one master the skill of living in a society when he or she gets to know about different problems of life whether it is personal or social etc.
In this contemporary world where money matters a lot, a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of living. It is quite common in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students go to college in various cities other than their hometown whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer living with their family for their studies. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
with family has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
alone and far from home is much more beneficial for the
overall
development of a student. This essay will discuss the various advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
away from home
in contrast
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
with them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staying
alone and far from family needs lots of patience.
Firstly
, one master the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of living in a society when he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems of life whether it is personal or social etc.
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IELTS essay In this contemporary world where money matters a lot, a person has to learn the skill of living

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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