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In this present era, the uses of energy sources are increased therefore the world demands those sources such as oil and gas is rise.

In this present era, the uses of energy sources are increased therefore the world demands those sources such as oil and gas is rise. k1p2
In this present era, the uses of energy sources are increased therefore the world demands those sources such as oil and gas is rise. It is necessary for locating drilling sides of those sources in remote and untouched natural areas. This essay will explain both sides of this statement and also described which side dominates the most. That discussed in the following paragraphs. To embarks with, there are plenty of benefits of locating those sites in remote and untouched areas. First and foremost, if the drilling process of oil and gas is constructed in untouched areas such as the forest of Alaska, then the noise pollution in the urban and rural areas will reduce. Moreover, the possibility of finding a huge amount of oil and gas will increase, which fulfil the demon of the world. For example, the government of India find oil from the Arabic ocean in the last year. those are the main pros of that idea. On the other hand, it also has some drawbacks which harm the environment. firstly if those projects move to untouched areas, then it required to cuts trees. That will create an impact on nature. secondly, that also destroy the home of various animals as well as birds too, and its population will reduce that will affect the food chain. for instance, the USA drilled oil from the Amazon forest and there, animal numbers were declined which was written by one survey of the University of Chicago. To conclude, although drilling oil and gas from remote and untouched areas is beneficial, it has more disadvantage than pros. In my words, I strongly feel that the advantage does not outweigh the disadvantages.
In this present era, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of energy sources
are increased
therefore
the world demands those sources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is rise. It is necessary for locating drilling sides of those sources in remote and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
untouched
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both sides of this statement and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
which side dominates the most. That discussed in the following paragraphs.

To embarks with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits of locating those sites in remote and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
untouched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
First
and foremost, if the drilling process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is constructed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
untouched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as the forest of Alaska, then the noise pollution in the urban and rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
Moreover
, the possibility of finding a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
will increase, which fulfil the demon of the world.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
from the Arabic ocean in the
‘last year’ indicates a finished event of the past. Please check the predicate's tense.
last year
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
are the main pros of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the other hand
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which harm the environment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
if those projects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
untouched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, then it required to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "cut".
cuts
trees. That will create an impact on nature.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, that
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the home of various animals
as well
as birds too, and its population will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
that will affect the food chain.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, the USA drilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
from the Amazon forest and there, animal numbers
were declined
which
was written
by one survey of the University of Chicago.

To conclude
, although drilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
from remote and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
untouched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is beneficial, it has more disadvantage than pros. In my words, I
strongly
feel that the advantage does not outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay In this present era, the uses of energy sources are increased therefore the world demands those sources such as oil and gas is rise.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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