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In this intensive world, ample of remuneration is spent by the abounding of masses on attires, hair styles and beauty good in order to burgeon their appearance. It is considered by a faction of ones that it is a superior way to spend money whereas, others opposite of it. Further, I will represent these perspectives in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are a few factors which define the merits of spending money on cosmetic goods. First and foremost, these sorts of products assist to enhance the beauty of face due to this , people are liked by everyone whereas, masses who have pimples and other crises on their face are neglected by the individuals. In addition to that, attractive ones utilize their beauty as a profession as they acquire some offers from large corporations to advertise their beauty products therefore, it is argued by some that, it is better way spend their budget.

In this intensive world, ample of remuneration is spent by the abounding of masses on attires, hair styles and beauty good in order to burgeon their appearance. It is considered by a faction of ones that it is a superior way to spend money whereas, others opposite of it. Further, I will represent these perspectives in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are a few factors which define the merits of spending money on cosmetic goods. First and foremost, these sorts of products assist to enhance the beauty of face due to this, people are liked by everyone whereas, masses who have pimples and other crises on their face are neglected by the individuals. In addition to that, attractive ones utilize their beauty as a profession as they acquire some offers from large corporations to advertise their beauty products therefore, it is argued by some that, it is better way spend their budget. EPm3
In this intensive world, ample of remuneration is spent by the abounding of masses on attires, hair styles and beauty good in order to burgeon their appearance. It is considered by a faction of ones that it is a superior way to spend money whereas, others opposite of it. Further, I will represent these perspectives in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are a few factors which define the merits of spending money on cosmetic goods. First and foremost, these sorts of products assist to enhance the beauty of face due to this, people are liked by everyone whereas, masses who have pimples and other crises on their face are neglected by the individuals. In addition to that, attractive ones utilize their beauty as a profession as they acquire some offers from large corporations to advertise their beauty products therefore, it is argued by some that, it is better way spend their budget. On the other hand, it is believed by certain group of people that, there are more ways to invest remuneration instead of products. Initially, spending cash on education is excellent way to invest their money because, with the assist of higher education, they can obtain a respected placement such as 'Doctor', piolet engineer and so on as a consequence, face beauty do not matter, when higher job is grabbed by the individuals thus, masses ought to invest their savings and budgets on their education. In conclusion, although, there are cons of consuming beauty products, there are more ways to spend money which help to become a successful person and make their future better.
In this intensive world, ample of remuneration
is spent
by the abounding of masses on attires, hair styles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in order to burgeon their appearance. It
is considered
by a faction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
that it is a superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
whereas, others opposite of it.
Further
, I will represent these perspectives in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are a few factors which define the merits of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on cosmetic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
First
and foremost, these sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
assist to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
of face due to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are liked
by everyone whereas, masses who have pimples and other crises on their face
are neglected
by the individuals.
In addition
to that, attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
as a profession as they acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offers from large corporations to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
therefore
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that, it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a better".
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
spend their budget.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
by certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to invest remuneration
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Initially
, spending cash on education is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a excellent".
excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, with the assist of higher education, they can obtain a respected placement such as 'Doctor',
Possible spelling mistake found.
piolet
engineer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on as a consequence, face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
do not matter, when higher job
is grabbed
by the individuals
thus
, masses ought to invest their savings and budgets on their education.

In conclusion
, although, there are cons of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to become a successful person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future better.
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IELTS essay In this intensive world, ample of remuneration is spent by the abounding of masses on attires, hair styles and beauty good in order to burgeon their appearance. It is considered by a faction of ones that it is a superior way to spend money whereas, others opposite of it. Further, I will represent these perspectives in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are a few factors which define the merits of spending money on cosmetic goods. First and foremost, these sorts of products assist to enhance the beauty of face due to this, people are liked by everyone whereas, masses who have pimples and other crises on their face are neglected by the individuals. In addition to that, attractive ones utilize their beauty as a profession as they acquire some offers from large corporations to advertise their beauty products therefore, it is argued by some that, it is better way spend their budget.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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