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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. 0dml
Buying something to fulfill our needs or necessities is what is called shopping. In older times, there was a system called Barton system in which people exchange goods to fulfill their demands but than colonization came and they introduced money in the form of coins, currency, etc to pay when we buy something. In simple words, give and take of material or non material goods is called shopping. If we talk about past times, families and households regard shopping as to fulfill their family needs and to provide food, shelter and other important things so that they can live smoothly and peacefully. There was budgets allotted for food, clothes and other material things, so that they can manage their time and space according to it. For example- if we talk about Indian community, they have separate spaces to store food, clothes which was regarded as supply for whole year. Proof of this is we can still find aluminium trunks and wooden baskets to store goods in village houses. There is book written on Rural life of Punjab, supports this saying. Coming to 21 century, citizens are now more materialistic. They like to spend money on goods they don’t actually need. There is big difference between necessaries and necessities but people like to think it as a one. Now we are more focused on clothes and goods we carry, rather than our personal growth. For example- most of the interviews held these days, when they ask what is your hobbies, most of us say that shopping is one of my hobby, generally women’s. Even in the movies, we can see there is more pressure on how you buy things and how well you are in spending money. Moving to my personal views, I think this is positive trend, because I have felt this as one of the points which hinders your confidence in malls and shopping centers if you are not a smart shopper. If someone is really good at shopping, he or she can save a lot of money using modern buying techniques and can be regarded as person to e should ask before buying something. But I do also oppose this, if we are totally wasting our time on buying things that e don’t need, so be smart but not freak.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Buying
something to fulfill our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
or necessities is what
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. In older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, there was a system called Barton system in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
to fulfill their demands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
than colonization
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
came and
they introduced money in the form of coins, currency, etc to pay when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something. In simple words, give and take of material or
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is called
shopping.

If we talk about past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, families and households regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as to fulfill their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and to provide food, shelter and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
smoothly
and
peacefully
.
Did you mean "There were budgets"?
There was budgets
allotted for food, clothes and other material things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and space according to it.
For example
- if we talk about Indian community, they have separate spaces to store food, clothes which
was regarded
as supply for whole year. Proof of this is we can
still
find
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
trunks and wooden baskets to store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in village
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. There is book written on Rural life of Punjab, supports this saying.

Coming to
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
, citizens are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more materialistic. They like to spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
they don’t actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between necessaries and necessities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it as a one.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we are more focused on clothes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
we carry,
rather
than our personal growth.
For example
- most of the interviews held these days, when they ask what is your hobbies, most of us say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is one of my hobby,
generally
women’s. Even in the movies, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there is more pressure on how you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things and how well you are in spending money.

Moving to my personal views, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have felt this as one of the points which hinders your confidence in malls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers if you are not a smart shopper. If someone is
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, he or she can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money using modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
techniques and can
be regarded
as person to e should ask
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
something.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I do
also
oppose this, if we are
totally
wasting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things that e don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
be smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not freak.
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IELTS essay In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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