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In the modern world people shop, work and communicate via the internet without the face-to-face communication with others. Is it a good or bad development

In the modern world people shop, work and communicate via the internet without the face-to-face communication with others. Is it a good or bad development g5D9O
It is true fact, that in our modern globalisation world people tend to move toward the use of internet facilities, while without technology and internet we are handicapped. I critic in this essay about the good or bad development about the excessive uses of internet. First and foremost reason, nowadays technology plays a crucial role in our modern era, due to the reason of excessive amount of using internet, while it makes people more convenient and knowledgeable. This indicates that the internet drives the people, because of boom upgradation in internet, and gives facilities that even person just want to surfing on the website and they order anything. For example buying clothes and any type of items like electronic and groceries also. One more important point is that, as long as the people can travel over the world on just sitting on their armchair, while this kind of facility to watch over the world is fruitful for the handicapped persons, who cannot evenly walk. However, for communication with person who live overseas and evenly make video calls, or chat with their family which plays pivotal role in their life. For instance video call and so all. On the other side, nowadays increasing amount of using internet plays vital role in cyber crime, as wide as internet banking, because people must aware about the uses of internet to thread others and regarding to misconception of shopping also. this indicates that when the person order something from the online shopping they don't get appropriate material or things compare to their original value. For instance to take away the order and the order does not arrive at the place. Moreover, in communication sector the usage of internet can make negative development, while sometime they can't show the initial emotion on screen for example. In conclusion, uses of internet is good in technology, but there are some negative development also.
It is true fact, that in our modern
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
of internet facilities, while without technology and internet we
are handicapped
.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I critic
in this essay about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
development about the excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
of internet.

First
and foremost reason, nowadays technology plays a crucial role in our modern era, due to the reason of excessive amount of using internet, while it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more convenient and knowledgeable. This indicates that the internet drives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of boom
Possible spelling mistake found.
upgradation
in internet, and gives facilities that even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
Did you mean "surf"?
surfing
on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
website and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
anything.
For example
buying clothes and any type of items like electronic and groceries
also
. One more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that, as long as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel over the world on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting on their armchair, while this kind of facility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
over the world is fruitful for the handicapped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
, who cannot
evenly
walk.
However
, for communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
overseas and
evenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls, or chat with their family which plays pivotal role in their life.
For instance
video call and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all.

On the other side, nowadays increasing amount of using internet plays vital role in cyber crime, as wide as internet banking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
aware about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
of internet to thread others and
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
misconception of shopping
also
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
indicates that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
something from the online shopping they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
appropriate material or things compare to their original value.
For instance
to take away the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
does not arrive at the place.
Moreover
, in communication sector the usage of internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, while sometime they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the initial emotion on screen
for example
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
of internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
also
.
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IELTS essay In the modern world people shop, work and communicate via the internet without the face-to-face communication with others. Is it a good or bad development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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