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In the modern world, exploring space is the tendency of wealthy individuals, which changes the habit of traveling.

In the modern world, exploring space is the tendency of wealthy individuals, which changes the habit of traveling. YwpPn
In the modern world, exploring space is the tendency of wealthy individuals, which changes the habit of traveling. While I accept there are drawbacks and benefits of this phenomenon. I would argue that there are far more drawbacks. The trend of traveling to other plants has advantages in numerous cases. The most crucial view is that humans could unravel the complex mysteries of the cosmos. Visitors, moreover, explore space and broaden knowledge in masses of the external universe. Another one is that they promote the advancement of space. It leads to attracting more participants who are students or scientists to carry out this space. Investors, in addition, invest more and more money in this field because of a talented case. I could not believe that this industry has undeniable disadvantages. Firstly, hundreds of launches to get into space can cause environmental pollution. This is the fact that starships are invented that take the mystery of resources. It means that the shortage of natural resources is leading to a global climate. Secondly, the amount of money is wasted. The reason is that the cost of experiments and inventing the equipment are extremely expensive. This money would be used for poverty, war, and diseases. Finally, this is extremely dangerous. Boarding to the spacecraft could face numerous risks, unexpected accidents, and emergency situations. In conclusion, it seems to me that there are advantages to traveling into space, although this exploration of space has numerous disadvantages.
In the modern world, exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is the tendency of wealthy individuals, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the habit of traveling. While I accept there are drawbacks and benefits of this phenomenon. I would argue that there are far more drawbacks.

The trend of traveling to other plants has advantages in numerous cases. The most crucial view is that humans could unravel the complex mysteries of the cosmos. Visitors,
moreover
, explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and broaden knowledge in masses of the external universe. Another one is that they promote the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. It leads to attracting more participants who are students or scientists to carry out this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. Investors,
in addition
, invest more and more money in this field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a talented case.

I could not believe that this industry has undeniable disadvantages.
Firstly
, hundreds of launches to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
can cause environmental pollution. This is the fact that starships
are invented
that take the mystery of resources. It means that the shortage of natural resources is leading to a global climate.
Secondly
, the amount of money
is wasted
. The reason is that the cost of experiments and inventing the equipment are
extremely
expensive. This money would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for poverty, war, and diseases.
Finally
, this is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. Boarding to the spacecraft could face numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, unexpected accidents, and emergency situations.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that there are advantages to traveling into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, although this exploration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
has numerous disadvantages.
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IELTS essay In the modern world, exploring space is the tendency of wealthy individuals, which changes the habit of traveling.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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