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In the modern society, it is no longer necessary to slaughter animals for producing food, or non-food products such as clothes or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern society, it is no longer necessary to slaughter animals for producing food, or non-food products such as clothes or medicine. Lrq8V
Since human beings can derive nutrition from plant-based sources and synthetic materials can be used instead of leather, some people opine that it is no longer necessary to kill animals. I do not agree with this view because not all nutrients can be obtained from plants. In my opinion, in order to preserve traditions and to fulfil the human need for nutrients, animal slaughter should be permitted in a less brutal way. Dwellers in certain geographic locations have been adapted to eating some foods. Such eating habits may are adapted to eating animal foods. Such eating habits may have existed for hundreds of years and become a part of the local lifestyle. The Japanese, for instance, live by the sea and take food source. It is not exaggerating to say that forbidding seafood will have a major impact on their life. In addition, nutrient elements from meat are essential. For example, beef and mutton provide us with numerous protein and vitamins, which are of great importance in building bones, muscles, cartilage and skin. Thus, it is fair to say animal-based products are an indispensable part of our life and thus cannot be replaced. Nevertheless, we should not ignore the fact that slaughtering causes considerable pain to animals. According to the human International Society, animals used in the fur industry are commonly subjected to force-feeding and food and water deprivation. Where fox fur coats are considered as a symbol of social status, skins are stripped off when foxes are still alive. In order to keep these animals’ suffering to a minimum, such barbaric practices should be put to an end. In other words, humane methods should be adopted, such as stunning them by electrocution prior to the killing. Meanwhile, strict punishments ought to be imposed on cruel slaughter. That is to say, we have the obligation to ensure animal welfare and prevent animals from being treated inhumanly. In summary, due to the significance of animal foods to our culture and health, we should not ban the slaughtering of animals. However, we are supposed to eliminate agonizing slaughter and minimize their suffering.
Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings can derive nutrition from plant-based sources and synthetic materials can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
instead
of leather,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that it is no longer necessary to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all nutrients can
be obtained
from plants. In my opinion, in order to preserve traditions and to fulfil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
need for nutrients,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
slaughter should
be permitted
in a less brutal way.

Dwellers in certain geographic locations have
been adapted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits may
are adapted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits may have existed for hundreds of years and become a part of the local lifestyle. The Japanese,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by the sea and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
source. It is not exaggerating to say that forbidding seafood will have a major impact on their life.
In addition
, nutrient elements from meat are essential.
For example
, beef and mutton provide us with numerous protein and vitamins, which are of great importance in building bones, muscles, cartilage and skin.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say animal-based products are an indispensable part of our life and
thus
cannot
be replaced
.

Nevertheless
, we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that slaughtering causes considerable pain to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. According to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
International Society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the fur industry are
commonly
subjected to force-feeding and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and water deprivation. Where fox fur coats
are considered
as a symbol of social status, skins
are stripped
off when foxes are
still
alive. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
suffering to a minimum, such barbaric practices should
be put
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humane
methods should
be adopted
, such as stunning them by electrocution prior to the killing. Meanwhile, strict punishments ought to
be imposed
on cruel slaughter.
That is
to say, we have the obligation to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
welfare and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from
being treated
inhumanly
.

In summary, due to the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to our culture and health, we should not ban the slaughtering of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
However
, we
are supposed
to eliminate agonizing slaughter and minimize their suffering.
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IELTS essay In the modern society, it is no longer necessary to slaughter animals for producing food, or non-food products such as clothes or medicine.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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