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In the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. wBaNr
In modern world, entertainment is considered to be one of the most important aspects in people's everyday life. The number of supporters of this trend shopping is rising day by day. I agree with notion that the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment. This essay will illustrate by analysing that the principle motive for going to the shopping center can be for leisure now and not to shop. To begin with, shopping to make high mood for women. For example, according to the statistics, should send nervous women to the supermarket, because these areas calm the nerves. It is clear that supermarkets should serve not only to shop, but to rise the mood. Thus, this can be an argument that could possibly be ladies who loves to shop supported. In addition, more walking in public places enhances the culture. Watching a consert, playing games and eating dinner with family can be a good example here. So, cultural recreation with loved ones strengthens the family. Therefore, tjis argument that can be supported. In summary, the claims emphasized above make clear that the importance of shopping mall has strong support. Therefore, the idea that shopping depends on entertainment can be carried. It is hoped that shopping malls will be entertainment place in the future.
In modern world, entertainment
is considered
to be one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's everyday life. The number of supporters of this trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is rising day by day. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with notion that the main reason for going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall will be for entertainment. This essay will illustrate by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
that the principle motive for going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center can be for leisure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and not to shop.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
high mood for women.
For example
, according to the statistics, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
nervous women to the supermarket,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these areas calm the nerves. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that supermarkets should serve not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to shop,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to rise the mood.
Thus
, this can be an argument that could
possibly
be ladies who
Did you mean "love"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'ladies' should be used.
loves
to shop supported.

In addition
, more walking in public places enhances the culture. Watching a
Possible spelling mistake found.
consert
, playing games and eating dinner with family can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, cultural recreation with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones strengthens the family.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tjis
argument that can
be supported
.

In summary, the claims emphasized above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall has strong support.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
depends on entertainment can
be carried
. It
is hoped
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls will be entertainment place in the future.
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IELTS essay In the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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