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In the future, more people will choose to go on a holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on a holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. oJ39
There might be chances that in the coming time, more people would prefer to travel in their own nation and would refuse to go to abroad on a holiday. I disagree with this statement because nowadays, the trend of exploring the world and doing adventurous activities has been proliferating. To begin with, there are several reasons why individuals would travel foreign countries. Firstly, exploring the whole world, has been becoming a common desire for many people. Additionally, they want to know more about different cultures, cuisines, places and languages around the world. Thus, they prefer to travel abroad in stead of their own country. For example, many foreigners every year travel to India in order to learn Indian culture, language and tradition. Secondly, many people prefer to bend their holidays in other countries beacause of the numnerous adventurous activities. In addition to this, they believe that activities such as river rafting and skydiving, are not available in their own native land. Therefore, they would like to travel out of the country. For instance, every year Canadian youngsters like to travel to Dubai to do shydive as in Canada, the shydive facility is not available. However, individuals believe that they should travel to their own country because of less travelling cost. As, a person would spend more money on foreign trips which would increase their expenses. So, it is a better idea to spend holidays in one own country with less expenses. To cite an example, many people many people who could not afford foreign trips, would eventually travel to local cities because of less expenses. To recapitulate, although people travel their own country because of lack of money but I firmaly believe that more people prefers to travel abroad because of adventurous activities and desire to explore the world.
There might be chances that in the coming time, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation and would refuse to
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "go abroad"?
go to abroad
on a holiday. I disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, the trend of exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and doing adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has been proliferating.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why individuals would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Firstly
, exploring the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, has been becoming a common desire for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Additionally
, they want to know more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, cuisines, places and languages around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Thus
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad
Did you mean "instead of"?
in stead of
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigners every year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to India in order to learn Indian culture, language and tradition.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to bend their holidays in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacause
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
numnerous
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
In addition
to this, they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as river rafting and skydiving, are not available in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
native land.
Therefore
, they would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, every year Canadian youngsters like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to Dubai to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
shydive
as in Canada, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
shydive
facility is not available.

However
, individuals believe that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less travelling cost.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, a person would spend more money on foreign trips which would increase their expenses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to spend holidays in one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun expenses is countable.
less
expenses. To cite an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who could not afford foreign trips, would
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to local cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun expenses is countable.
less
expenses.

To recapitulate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
firmaly
believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
prefers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and desire to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay In the future, more people will choose to go on a holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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