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In the future many people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday . Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the future many people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. OJyj
I know a lot might believe that in time to come, humans will explore their own country than travel abroad during long relaxation leaves. I strongly disagree with that, because there has always been a saying about exposure and how it positively enlightens individuals. I’m afraid in this case, If one doesn’t enjoy traveling during holidays, exposure will be far from them. It’s true that we read books about people’s culture, tradition, way of life as well as a lot others, but I believe strongly that what we see is the best memory we have and reserve in our thoughts. Traveling abroad can visually help us learn all of those, as well as speak other languages and learn how to relate with people’s or the world. Let’s not forget that we’re in a century where technology is leading tremendously, a lot of people, like myself who would love to see skyscrapers, how phones, computers, tablets, cars and a lot more are created/built, will not be able to visualize those fantasies if we don’t travel out of our home countries. A few years ago, my Dad had a job interview in a country where English wasn’t their most recognized language. A lot of citizens of the country who were very intelligent, participated in the interview, but to our amazement, my Dad was picked. He got the job because of his ability to speak both english and the countries language. He learnt this on one of his frequent visits to that country. If he wasn’t a traveler, he wouldn’t have known how to communicate with both the indigenes of the country and the company’s international associates. In the nearest future, more people will travel abroad than remain in their home countries.
I know a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
might believe that in time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, humans will explore their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use "(country)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
country
than travel abroad during long relaxation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
.

I
strongly
disagree with that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there has always been a saying about exposure and how it
positively
enlightens individuals.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m afraid
in this case
, If one doesn’t enjoy traveling during holidays, exposure will be far from them.

It’s true that we read books about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
culture, tradition, way of life
as well
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe
strongly
that what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
is the best memory we have and reserve in our thoughts. Traveling abroad can
visually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us learn all of those,
as well
as speak other languages and learn how to relate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
or the world.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s not forget that we’re in a century where technology is leading
tremendously
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, like myself who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
skyscrapers, how phones, computers, tablets, cars and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more
are created
/built, will not be able to visualize those fantasies if we don’t travel out of our home countries.

A few years ago, my Dad had a job interview in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where English wasn’t their most recognized language. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
who were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intelligent, participated in the interview,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to our amazement, my Dad
was picked
. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his ability to speak both
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
and the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
language. He
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
this on one of his frequent visits to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If he wasn’t a traveler, he wouldn’t have known how to communicate with both the
Possible spelling mistake found.
indigenes
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s international associates. In the nearest future, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will travel abroad than remain in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay In the future many people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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