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An ageing society provides challenges to the whole society. Why?

An ageing society provides challenges to the whole society. Why? X53q
The population of the world is growing every day. This is one of the significant demographic issues in the world. Most of this population growth involves older people. There are some reasons why we should talk about ageing society provides challenges all society. The first reason is that old people can’t work. Population of World research displays that the number of older people is growing by 2% each year. It is predicted that by 2050, there may be one 20-year-old or younger person for every four 70-year-old or older people worldwide. Because of that ageing society causes some problems all over the world/globe. This situation leads to (=cause) disastrous consequences for governments. The country needs the power of employment for a strong economy. When an older person doesn’t have energy to work, it causes lower production. This means that there will be lower growth per capita incomes and lower growth in the total economy in that country. Population Growth of older people causes decreasing labor force. Second reason is that the government must pay for older people’s health problems. Ageing population also affects demands for social service especially for hospitals and health services. According to ‘The Nation of Health for Older People’ report it is getting difficult to spend while ensuring care improves and other social needs do not deteriorate in the case of publicly funded or government-administered health care systems. As a consequence of that everything is taken into consideration with the reasons which are explained above, there is no doubt that we can see some challenges of ageing people to the whole society which are the loss of productivity and increasing health cost of the elderly. The governments should have some solutions to increase healthy young generation with policies.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the world is growing every day. This is one of the significant demographic issues in the world. Most of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why we should talk about
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
society provides challenges all society.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Population
of World research displays that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is growing by 2% each year. It
is predicted
that by 2050, there may be one 20-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or younger person for every four 70-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of that
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
society
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causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems all over the world/globe. This situation leads to
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(=cause)
disastrous consequences for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. The country needs the power of employment for a strong economy. When an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
person doesn’t have energy to work, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
lower production. This means that there will be
Did you mean "lowed", "lowered"?
lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
per capita incomes and lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the total economy in that country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
decreasing labor force.

Second
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reason
is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Ageing' is British English.
Ageing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
also
affects demands for social service
especially
for hospitals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services. According to ‘The Nation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’
report it is getting difficult to spend while ensuring care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
and other social needs do not deteriorate in the case of
publicly
funded or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-administered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care systems.

As a consequence of that everything
is taken
into consideration with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above, there is no doubt that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges of
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the whole society which are the loss of productivity and increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
cost of the elderly. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to increase healthy young generation with policies.
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IELTS essay An ageing society provides challenges to the whole society. Why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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