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In some societies it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

In some societies it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life. rE6n
Nowadays, most people are finding it difficult to concentrate on their health due to the tight working schedules. In such instances, the emphasis given to healthy diet, exercise and relaxation cannot be guaranteed. Thus, it is important to work on a predetermined schedule in order to cover every aspect of our lives rather than simply leading a life. Therefore, I would firmly believe that concerning on physical health is essential. Firstly, as far as a healthy life is concerned, it is important to concern on physical exercise, mental relaxation and how to be free of diseases simultaneously. Meanwhile, a well balanced diet consists of fresh fruits and vegetables are crucial for a healthy life and vaccination and other preventive measures, for example quitting smoking and alcohol carries an added benefit. Therefore, concern on these aspects helps people to lead healthier lives. On the other hand, if people neglect their health, they may be carrying a risk of diseases for a long period before being diagnosed. And also the benefit of preventive measures cannot be achieved at the correct time. Nevertheless, there remain few facts to support the counter argument. Firstly, some preventive measures are expensive where the poor cannot be reached. Simultaneously, there can be harmful effects of certain substances; for example, excess vitamins seem to be harmful. In addition, unsupervised exercise may cause joint ailments that can be considered as an extra burden. In conclusion, paying emphasis on one's hearth is detrimental and the quality of life will be hindered if preventive measures are not taken at the correct time. Therefore, leading a normal life as it is does not simply mean that a person is healthy and they have to pay from their lives in the long run.
Nowadays, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are finding it difficult to concentrate on their health due to the tight working schedules. In such instances, the emphasis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet, exercise and relaxation cannot
be guaranteed
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to work on a predetermined schedule in order to cover every aspect of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
rather
than
simply
leading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, I would
firmly
believe that concerning on physical health is essential.

Firstly
, as far as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is concerned
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to concern on physical exercise, mental relaxation and how to be free of diseases
simultaneously
. Meanwhile, a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well balanced
diet consists of fresh fruits and vegetables are crucial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and vaccination and other preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
,
for example
quitting smoking and alcohol carries an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
benefit.
Therefore
, concern on these aspects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to lead healthier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
On the other hand
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
neglect their health, they may be carrying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diseases for a long period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being diagnosed
. And
also
the benefit of preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
cannot
be achieved
at the correct time.

Nevertheless
, there remain few facts to support the counter argument.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are expensive where the poor cannot
be reached
.
Simultaneously
, there can be harmful effects of certain substances;
for example
, excess vitamins seem to be harmful.
In addition
, unsupervised exercise may cause joint ailments that can
be considered
as an extra burden.

In conclusion
, paying emphasis on one's hearth is detrimental and the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
be hindered
if preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are not taken at the correct time.
Therefore
, leading a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it is does not
simply
mean that a person is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthy and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the long run.
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IELTS essay In some societies it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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