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In some places, groups of teenagers occasionally cause trouble by behaving badly. What do you think are the reasons for this problem, and what might be done about it?

In some places, groups of teenagers occasionally cause trouble by behaving badly. What do you think are the reasons for this problem, and what might be done about it? g5AyL
Nowadays, a group of teenagers occasionally cause trouble by behaving badly in some places. This essay will discuss some reasons why this problem is caused and it will then provide some solutions for avoiding it. Firstly, some teenagers who may watch some movies which contain sex and violence are trying to learn from these kinds of movies as a result of causing trouble by their bad behavior. Furthermore, their parents may overlook teaching their children that they are very busy with working outside and they also seldom take a time to communicate with the children. Apart from that, some teenagers may meet some bad people who are teaching them some negative things. For example, if teenagers meet good people who study hard, they will concentrate on their studies. However, if they meet bad people outside, they will be affected to tend to negative behavior. In other words, the above factors can definitely cause this problem. Lastly, there are some solutions provided for avoiding this problem. So as to prevent teenagers from watching sex and violent movies, their parents should be responsible for teaching and guiding them when they watch any movies. In addition, the teachers should be advised to manage their students in order to make them concentrate on their studies. Some advertisements regarding careful to make friends should be shown on TV and in the street in order to mention teenagers. The parents and teachers should be encouraged to have a good conversation with the teenagers in order to maintain a good relationship. In conclusion, the parents and teachers are the main factors causing this problem although teenagers are still young. Thus, they should be responsible for managing a group of teenagers who have negative behavior. In my opinion, teenagers have parents who look after them at home and also they have teachers who teach subjects and personality in school and therefore, there is no excuses from them.
Nowadays, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
occasionally
cause trouble by behaving
badly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why this problem
is caused
and it will then provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for avoiding it.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which contain sex and violence are trying to learn from these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as a result
of causing trouble by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior.
Furthermore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may overlook teaching their children that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy with working
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
outside and
they
also
seldom take a time to communicate with the children. Apart from that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are teaching them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, they will concentrate on their studies.
However
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
outside, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to tend to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behavior.
In other words
, the above factors can definitely cause this problem.

Lastly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions provided for avoiding this problem.
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
So as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from watching sex and violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be responsible for teaching and guiding them when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
be advised
to manage their students in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them concentrate on their studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
advertisements regarding careful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends should
be shown
on TV and in the street in order to mention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
be encouraged
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conversation with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in order to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are the main factors causing this problem although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
still
young.
Thus
, they should be responsible for managing a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behavior. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
look after them at home and
also
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
teach subjects and personality in school and
therefore
,
Did you mean "there are no excuses"?
there is no excuses
from them.
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IELTS essay In some places, groups of teenagers occasionally cause trouble by behaving badly. What do you think are the reasons for this problem, and what might be done about it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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