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In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.

In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions. 3OKJ
For the begin, we know this fact that the marriage is an important social’s fundamental. Todays, because of diverse reasons the age of married has increased and the society is exposed to a new phenomenon called white marriage, that means two people live together without marriage agreement. On the other hand, we are faced to increasing divorce that has many shortcomings for society. So, we have divorce growth and decrease in marriage. The question is why? There are many reasons to these events but in my view, the economic problems are an important cause much and more in the 3rd world’s countries. For another cause, we can refer to the psychologist’s opinion. Their research has shown that todays the young people have less responsibility, as a result, they do not want make a family or they afraid of this. Divorce has many bad effect especially for children and then for women in the society with local culture. We can see, the children who growth without own family, will have many emotional problems and they can be adapted with community. However, the divorce’s pitfalls are not just for kids and also are for women who live in the small town with local culture. In fact, some traditional people believe divorce is a big guilt that make God angry. It can be exemplified by one trivial things; we are a tip for spouse that it is: “ you go to your husband’s house with white dress and should come back with white dress” that means, the woman have to live with everything until she die. We can understand from this sentence that divorce is very bad or even forbidden. To consider above argument, finding a solution is necessary, whatever, it is not easy. We need to primary programs about marriage such as dispread of responsibility, knowing each other, be patient, understanding and etc. All of them called The Marriage’s Knowledge that teaching it to youth is very important. To conclude, in my own view, the governments have to use of each way to push people to get married and help them to keep their family. It can be material and spiritual help.
For the
The word 'begin' is not a noun. Did you mean "beginning"?
begin
, we know this fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
social’s fundamental.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of diverse reasons the age of married has increased and the society
is exposed
to a new phenomenon called white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, that means two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
agreement.
On the other hand
, we
are faced
to increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shortcomings for society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
growth and decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. The question is why?

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my view, the economic problems are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause much and more in the 3rd world’s countries. For another cause, we can refer to the psychologist’s opinion. Their research has shown that
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less responsibility,
as a result
, they do not want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family or
You miss the verb here. You should rather write: "they're afraid".
they afraid
of this.

Divorce has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect
especially
for children and then for women in the society with local culture. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, the children who growth without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family, will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
emotional
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they can
be adapted
with community.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce’s
pitfalls are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for kids and
also
are for women who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town with local culture. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
guilt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
God angry. It can
be exemplified
by one trivial things; we are a tip for spouse that it is:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
you go to your husband’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with white dress and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back with white dress” that means, the woman
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with everything until she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "dies", "died".
die
. We can understand from this sentence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or even forbidden.

To consider above argument, finding a solution is necessary, whatever, it is not easy. We need to primary programs about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
dispread
of responsibility, knowing each other, be patient, understanding
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. All of them called The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marriage’s
Knowledge that teaching it to youth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

To conclude
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of each way to push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their family. It can be material and spiritual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
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IELTS essay In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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