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In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities.

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. yLEXM
Nowadays society in some countries appreciate more individualism rather than collectivism. With modern pace of life people have no time to get familiar with each other, they barely have time for themselves and their own interests. In response to this issue a sense of individualism is flourishing in most parts of the world. This essay will outline some problems and possible solutions of the issue. To begin with, city dwellers are not familiar with their neighbours. During past centuries people that were living close to you were your friends. They were the first to help you in case of emergency. Also they were trustworthy so you could ask to look after the kids or pets while you are absent. Though today there are a lot of wars between neighbours, spoiling each other lives. To solve this problem governments should create more fests where locals can get to know each other better. For instance, in Malta every town has its own fest. Preparation takes a lot of time, but it gives a sense of belonging to people. Secondly, when people are focused on themselves, they will never help to strangers. People always are in a hurry, caring about their problems. As a result most of them would never help you in a trouble. For example, give a hand if you fell. To avoid such situations governments and society should create more social advertisement about helping each other. There are videos on the Internet with social experiments, which were conducted to reveal that you probably would not be helped in a sudden problem. Those videos make you look at your values from another point of view. In conclusion, focusing only on ourselves makes no go to us. However, this problem can be solved by making more fests to get familiar with neighbours and by making more social advertisement. These are not the only possible solutions that could be implemented.
Nowadays society in
some
countries appreciate more individualism
rather
than collectivism. With modern pace of life
people
have no time to
get
familiar with each
other
, they
barely
have time for themselves and their
own
interests. In response to this issue a sense of individualism is flourishing in most parts of the world. This essay will outline
some
problems
and possible solutions of the issue.

To
begin
with, city dwellers are not familiar with their
neighbours
. During past centuries
people
that were living close to you were your friends. They were the
first
to
help
you in case of emergency.
Also
they were trustworthy
so
you could ask to look after the kids or pets while you are absent. Though
today
there are
a lot of
wars between
neighbours
, spoiling each
other
lives
. To solve this
problem
governments
should create more fests where locals can
get
to know each
other
better.
For instance
, in Malta every town has its
own
fest. Preparation takes
a lot of
time,
but
it gives a sense of belonging to
people
.

Secondly
, when
people
are focused
on themselves, they will never
help
to strangers.
People
always are in a hurry, caring about their
problems
.
As
a result most of them would never
help
you in a trouble.
For example
, give a hand if you fell. To avoid such situations
governments
and society should create more social advertisement about helping each
other
. There are videos on the Internet with social experiments, which
were conducted
to reveal that you
probably
would not be
helped
in a sudden
problem
. Those videos
make
you look at your values from another point of view.

In conclusion
, focusing
only
on ourselves
makes
no go to us.
However
, this
problem
can
be solved
by making more fests to
get
familiar with
neighbours
and by making more social advertisement. These are not the
only
possible solutions that could
be implemented
.
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IELTS essay In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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