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In some part of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a negative or positive development? v.4

In some part of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a negative or positive development? v. 4
In several countries, many people are increasingly conducting research regarding the origins of their own family. There are a number of reasons why this trend happens, and in my opinion I believe that this is a negative tendency. To begin with, there are some reasons why individuals interested in discovering their family' s history. The first reason is that these people is just curious about who their ancertors were and what role they played in society. For example, it night be interesting to find out that one' s great-grandfather was once a member of royal family. This kind of information can make people more proud of their origins. Additionally, many people researched about their family' s history as this activity can serve medical purposes. For instance, they would be aware of any diseases that they inherit from their relatives. However, I would argue that this tendency is negative because of some reasons. Firstly, as this trend does not bring about significant benefits apart from those related to health care, it can be considered a waste time and money, especially for young individuals. In my opinion, it would be better for them to concentrate on their resources on more prominant things like cultivate their soft skills or enhance knowledge in particular field. Secondly, the information on the history of one' family may have adverse effects on their attitude in life. To illustrate, a person with a noble origin may become arrogant, while someone who is a descendant of a criminal might be ashamed and lose his confidence. In conclusion, reaching one' s own origins is becoming more common in society and i firmly argue that it is a negative development
In several countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
increasingly
conducting research regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origins
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why this trend happens, and in my opinion I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
tendency.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why individuals interested in discovering their
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family&
#039; s history. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
curious about who their
Possible spelling mistake found.
ancertors
were and what role they played in society.
For example
,
Possible mistake. Please verify.
it night
be interesting to find out that
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s great-grandfather was once a member of royal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This kind of information can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more proud of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origins
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
researched about their
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s history as this activity can serve medical purposes.
For instance
, they would be aware of any diseases that they inherit from their relatives.

However
, I would argue that this tendency is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, as this trend does not bring about significant benefits apart from those related to health care, it can
be considered
a waste time and money,
especially
for young individuals. In my opinion, it would be better for them to concentrate on their resources on more
Possible spelling mistake found.
prominant
things like cultivate their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or enhance knowledge
in particular
field.
Secondly
, the information on the history of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may have adverse effects on their attitude in life. To illustrate, a person with a noble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
may become arrogant, while someone who is a descendant of a criminal might
be ashamed
and lose his confidence.

In conclusion
, reaching
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origins
is becoming more common in society and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
firmly
argue that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay In some part of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a negative or positive development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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