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In some cultures old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Every nation has their different tradition and norms. Similarly, aged people get high respect in some cultures, while in others youngsters are considered more valued. In this essay, I will discuss both the perspectives and then form my opinion. Proponents of first view-point contend that old people have more experience and wise knowledge as they have come accrosse many situation throughout their life. World can get great benefit from their experience. So, due to huge knowledge and precious experience they get more respect in society. Moreover, they claim that grown ones also sacrifice their whole life to offer better life to their offsprings. They have done lot of hard work to make their children's future bright. Consequently, they do not get high respect, they earn it through their hardships for their new coming generations. Advocates of second view-point keep up that youngsters are back-bone of a nation, they are the future of nation. They will become the future doctors, teachers, engineers and will contribute in the development of nation. As the development of nation is fully dependent on its youth, as a result they get more respect. Furthermore, they argued that youngsters also have adapted with technology in far better way, where old ones are still grappling to learn fundamental use of technology. So, they have a notion that old people have served enough as they can and now all the spotlight should be on the youngsters because they are the coming future of nation. In my opinion, old population get huge respect in society owing to their wise wisdom and better eyesight. They also make world better place to live for their coming generations. Whereas youngsters are considered future of a nation with strength to adapt with new technology that is why they are more valued in some cultures. I think that, the respect of different age groups is different according to the mindset and expectations towards them by society.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tradition and norms.
Similarly
, aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures, while in others youngsters
are considered
more valued. In this essay, I will discuss both the perspectives and then form my opinion.

Proponents of
first
view-point contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have more experience and wise knowledge as they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
accrosse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situation throughout their life. World can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
great benefit from their experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, due to huge knowledge and precious experience they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
in society.
Moreover
, they claim that grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
also
sacrifice their whole life to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life to their offsprings. They have done lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
bright.
Consequently
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
, they earn it through their hardships for their new coming generations. Advocates of second view-point
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up that youngsters are back-bone of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. They will become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
doctors, teachers, engineers and will contribute in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. As the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is
fully
dependent on its youth,
as a result
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
.
Furthermore
, they argued that youngsters
also
have adapted with technology in far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are
still
grappling to learn fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they have a notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have served
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as they can and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all the spotlight should be on the youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the coming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of nation.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
in society owing to their wise wisdom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
eyesight. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for their coming generations. Whereas youngsters
are considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
with strength to adapt with new technology
that is
why they are more valued in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
according to the mindset and expectations towards them by society.
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To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In some cultures old age people are highly valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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