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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message? Xmkr
In many religions, it has been taught to the children at very young age that they can achieve everything if they push their limits. This essay will discuss the various benefits and demerits of this trend. On one hand, letting children understand at very young age that hard work is the way to achieve in life has many benefits. Firstly, it has been seen in adolescents that they have a clear motive in life because of the teachings provided in their culture that they have to work hard in order to be successful in life. Secondly, it is easier for the children to deal with difficult situations as they know that how much effort needs to put to overcome those tough circumstances. Lastly, such teaching help children to be more focused from very young age which helps them in achieving better results in school or college education. For instance: a recent article of Hindustan times states that 70 percent of the children who knew that hard work is the key to success has scored more marks in comparison with other students. On the other hand, although there are benefits of telling children that by putting efforts, anything can be achieved but there are some demerits of this message as well. To start with, it is not unknown that putting so much pressure of the children at very young age can lead to health issues. They can take extreme pressure on mind which can result the reverse effect. For example, a student has committed suicide when he was in 5th grade because of the extreme pressure being put by parents to put effort for his exams. In addition to this, such teachings can harm the childhood of the children where they are forced to try hard rather than enjoying their childhood time freely and without any pressure. In conclusion, it is known that in some cultures, children are being told to give efforts in order to achieve anything in life. This essay discussed that although there are many advantages of providing this teaching to children but, it has some drawbacks too. However, it is to understand that when would be the right time to teach your children about such teachings.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
religions, it has
been taught
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
that they can achieve everything if they push their limits. This essay will discuss the various benefits and demerits of this trend.

On one hand, letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
understand at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work is the way to achieve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
Firstly
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in adolescents that they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
motive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachings
provided in their culture that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in order to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
, it is easier for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to deal with difficult situations as they know that how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
needs to put to overcome those tough circumstances.
Lastly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be more focused from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in achieving better results in school or college education.
For instance
: a recent article of Hindustan times states that 70 percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who knew that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work is the key to success has scored more marks
in comparison
with other students.

On the other hand
, although there are benefits of telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that by putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
, anything can
be achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits of this message
as well
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is not unknown that putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much pressure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can lead to health issues. They can take extreme pressure on mind which can result the reverse effect.
For example
, a student has committed suicide when he was in 5th grade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the extreme pressure
being put
by parents to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
for his exams.
In addition
to this, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachings
can harm the childhood of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
where they
are forced
to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
rather
than enjoying their childhood time
freely
and without any pressure.

In conclusion
, it
is known
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
in order to achieve anything in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay discussed that although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of providing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks too.
However
, it is to understand that when would be the right time to teach your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachings
.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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