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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? RNl1Q
It is often said that being success is the prime goal of many individuals. While some people tend towards the viewpoint that doing hard work is the main equipmentwhatever they want to obtain which should be told the children. Other opine that it is disadvantages to say children regarding being hard worker. One side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of informing children to try hard work considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that children will do more hard work in future. When children are informed the correct way of success, it will be a piece of cake for them to be a successful person in his life. This means that a huge number of children would be benefitedin their adult life. It is also possible to say that the judgemental ability of a child increases because of knowing such valuable information in advance. Provided that children are told which is best for them, They will judge whether these are good for them or not. Consequently, their future life will be shine as they already know about same precious way. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact numerous ways are also contributing factor to achieve something. People often have this opinion because smart working is better for children to obtain whatever they want to achievewhich may result into the fact that children will be less exhausted since their age is not appropriate to work hard. Second point is that children might bemotivated if they try hard. Considering the fact that they are working more than their ability of working, at the middle of the working condition they can be given up that specific work due to massive pressure of hard work. As a result, they will not be successful in this way that is told them in their childhood. In conclusion, although senior citizens tell children to work hard in order to obtain what they want. some tend to this way that smart working is more beneficial for children to be successful.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that being success is the prime goal of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend towards the viewpoint that doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the main
Possible spelling mistake found.
equipmentwhatever
they want to obtain which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Other opine that it is disadvantages to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
regarding being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
worker.

One side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that the benefits of informing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are informed
the correct way of success, it will be a piece of cake for them to be a successful person in his life. This means that a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitedin
their adult life. It is
also
possible to say that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'judgemental' is British English.
judgemental
ability of a child increases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of knowing such valuable information in advance. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
which is best for them, They will judge whether these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them or not.
Consequently
, their future life will be shine as they already know about same precious way.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact numerous ways are
also
contributing factor to achieve something.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obtain whatever they want to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achievewhich
may result into the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be less exhausted since their age is not appropriate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. Second point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
Possible spelling mistake found.
bemotivated
if they try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. Considering the fact that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
more than their ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, at the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
condition they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up that specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
due to massive pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, they will not be successful in this way
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them in their childhood.

In conclusion
, although senior citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in order to obtain what they want.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
tend to this way that smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be successful.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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