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In Some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decides to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience?

In Some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decides to do this. nPRg
In This, Day and age some countries youngsters were encouraged to work or travel for a year in between finishing high standards and starting university studies. First, In my point of view in this modern world were adults are found of traveling around the world. However most of the young people would like to move around the earth. So many of them plan the trip in between the high school also This is the most valuable age to learning new things from the society itself. Here the young adults mostly plan the journey with their fellow friends to know new lessons from the surroundings. For example the younger generation like to spend their time by visiting hills and the rivers to feel the life of nature. For instance, Today people were good at learning new chapters from others as well as from the surroundings. They can easily memorize the ideas about numerous lifestyles from the globe. However. The teenager people are mostly like to travel by there own due to the fact by moving independently they are ready to face the crisis. Here the adolescent would meet new people were they go and educate themselves by looking in to various social and economic aspects of lief. As result, The younger students who are ready to travel the world were ready to face the circumstances by the public. They may lose something, on the contrary were they can gain extra information mainly they could free from the fear. For instance, As like advantages it has disadvantages too. Were as the children had to leave far away from their parents and while moving around the earth. Younger may feel language barrier with other communicators of the native speakers. To conclude, I would say that the younger people traveling around the world as huge advantages than disadvantages. Were I like to say that, traveling is necessary too one's life.
In This, Day and age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries youngsters
were encouraged
to work or travel for a year in between finishing high standards and starting university studies.

First
, In my point of view in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
were adults
are found
of traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them plan the trip in between the high school
also
This is the most valuable age to learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things from the society itself. Here the young adults
mostly
plan the journey with their fellow friends to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lessons from the surroundings.
For example
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation like to spend their time by visiting hills and the rivers to feel the life of nature.

For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
chapters from others
as well
as from the surroundings. They can
easily
memorize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about numerous lifestyles from the globe.

However
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mostly
like to travel by there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
due to the fact by moving
independently
they are ready to face the crisis. Here the adolescent would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were they go and educate themselves by looking in to various social and economic aspects of lief.

As result, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
students who are ready to travel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
were ready to face the circumstances by the public. They may lose something,
on the contrary
were they can gain extra information
mainly
they could free from the fear.
For instance
, As like advantages it has disadvantages too. Were as the children had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
far away from their parents and while moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the earth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
may feel language barrier with other communicators of the native speakers.

To conclude
, I would say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as huge advantages than disadvantages. Were I like to say that, traveling is necessary
Did you mean "to one"?
too one
's life.

IELTS essay In Some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decides to do this.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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