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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

In some different countries, young generation are advanced to work or travell for a year between ending their high school and starting study in universities. In this following essay, I am going to discuss both pros and cons for youngers who decide to do this options and give own opinion related to this topic. To begin with, coming to the advantages of traveling for young teenagers, they may increase their worldview, for instance, if they travel many countries and talking with people who live another country, they may change informations each other. Likewise they can improve their language skills and then they feel themselves confident to work with other cooperation. However if that person decides to study at university, that person may lose 4 years. In my opinion everyone has own opinions and purposes that they must try to do something which is more preferable for them. After words coming to the advantages of entering universities you can keep in touch with your friends and learning about such kind of subjects. If someone starts study in university he or she must be studying four years in the university. However after graduating university that person have a lot of choices to work in different countries which are more preferable. Thre are different views about this factors and someone try to help to earn some money and it will be useful for family's economics. Taking everything in to consideration, I don't completely disagree with the given opinions because both of them are more preferable for humanity. In my personal point of view everybody tries to something the best manner like this humans lifestyle will increase and they have more comforts to live.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, young generation
are advanced
to work or
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travell
for a year between ending their high school and starting study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. In this following essay, I am going to discuss both pros and cons for
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
who decide to do this options and give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
related to this topic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, coming to the advantages of traveling for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, they may increase their worldview,
for instance
, if they travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and talking with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
each other.
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Likewise
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their language
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
skills and
then they feel themselves confident to work with other cooperation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
if that person decides to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, that person may lose 4 years. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
everyone has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
and purposes that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to do something which is more preferable for them.

After words coming to the advantages of entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with your friends and learning about such kind of subjects. If someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be studying four years in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
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university
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that person has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that person have
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a lot of
choices to work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are more preferable.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thre
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
Did you mean "these"?
this
factors and someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money and it will be useful for family's economics.

Taking everything in to consideration, I don't completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of them are more preferable for humanity. In my personal point of view everybody tries to something the best manner like this
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "humans'" or "human's"?
humans
lifestyle will
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
increase and
they have more comforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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