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In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. N9Jg
Across the globe, many individuals own guns for self-defence and recreational purposes. Gun related mortalities in households – in particular – throw the ethics of such forms of private gun ownership into sharp relief. In this essay, I shall appeal to crime statistics to argue that a person is at a far greater risk being shot if there is a gun in a household. Firstly, it is intuitively obvious that having a gun in a household endangers children and teenagers. This is because minors do not have the requisite knowledge or maturity to handle guns safely. For example, the US Department of Justice recently revealed statistics showing that 150 American children and teenagers die each year because of accidents relating to household guns. Therefore it is incontrovertible that household guns lead to additional shootings. Secondly, household guns became especially dangerous when spouses have violent arguments. This is because male sexual rage, in particular, often results in deadly aggression. For example, The International Crime Bureau recently produced statistical evidence that – if there is a household gun – a man is twice as likely (if he discovers his wife having an affair) to kill her in a fit of jealous rage. Therefore, once again, household guns correlate positively with additional shootings. In conclusion, there is undeniable evidence that having a gun in a house leads to further shootings. Given the strength of this evidence, in the future, more legislature needs to be put in place to limit private gun ownership.
Across the globe,
many
individuals
own
guns
for
self-defence
and recreational purposes.
Gun
related
mortalities
in
households
in particular
throw the ethics of such forms of private
gun
ownership into sharp relief. In this essay, I shall appeal to crime statistics to argue that a person is at a far greater
risk
being shot
if there is a
gun
in a household.

Firstly
, it is
intuitively
obvious that having a
gun
in a
household
endangers children and
teenagers
. This is
because
minors do not have the requisite knowledge or maturity to handle
guns
safely
.
For example
, the US Department of Justice recently revealed statistics showing that 150 American children and
teenagers
die
each year
because
of accidents relating to
household
guns
.
Therefore
it is incontrovertible that
household
guns
lead to additional shootings.

Secondly
,
household
guns
became
especially
dangerous
when spouses have violent arguments. This is
because
male sexual rage,
in particular
,
often
results in deadly aggression.
For example
, The International Crime Bureau recently produced statistical evidence that
if there is a
household
gun
a
man
is twice as likely (if he discovers his wife having an affair) to kill her in a fit of jealous rage.
Therefore
, once again,
household
guns
correlate
positively
with additional shootings.

In conclusion
, there is undeniable evidence that having a
gun
in a
house
leads to
further
shootings.
Given
the strength of this evidence, in the future, more legislature needs to
be put
in place to limit private
gun
ownership.
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IELTS essay In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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