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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing, and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing, and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Bpqj
As the old adage goes, ” Men are distributed not by things, but by the view which they take of them. ” The contentious issue at present is the issue of a sedentary lifestyle. There has been a dramatic increase in the rate of obesity in many countries around the world. I espouse the notion that there is an unhealthiness in life, for people live inactive life. Also, I opine that several people suffer from various diseases. This essay will scrutinize the aspects of the quandary in the ensuing paragraphs. To benign with, I consider the cause of increasing weight of people leading to a decreasing fitness level as the advancement of technology significantly has participated in the problem of obesity. Furthermore, canned food is considered a major risk factor for this problem, since it is cheap and tasty in comparison to the healthy food cooked at home. In addition, there are a plethora of physical activities to do but people do not dedicate themselves. As a result, they lose their resistance power. If this lifestyle continues then people will fall ill more frequently. For example, the reports of 2020 exhibit that the number of children playing active sports dropped by approximately 20% because of their interest in computer games. On other hand, important steps and recommendations should be taken to solve this problem. Firstly, promoting health awareness among people and enforcing strict censorship on food advertisements are the best ways to combat this issue. Similarly, the government and media should emphasize health education to individuals about the hazards of heaviness. Moreover, the bureaucrat takes steps to open multiple sports complexes and fitness studios near residential communities. To exemplify, the reports of 2021 exhibit that 90% of the respondents said they are willing to use the gym or any physical activity centers. In conclusion, taking these points into consideration, from a personal perspective, without a shadow of a doubt, I am inclined to believe that stimulating somebody to do more active will not only improve their fitness and overall health but also help people to shed their weight.
As the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
adage goes,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
are distributed
not by things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by the view which they take of them. ” The contentious issue at present is the issue of a sedentary lifestyle. There has been a dramatic increase in the rate of obesity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world. I espouse the notion that there is an unhealthiness in life, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
inactive life.
Also
, I opine that several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from various diseases. This essay will scrutinize the aspects of the quandary in the ensuing paragraphs.

To benign with, I consider the cause of increasing weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leading to a decreasing fitness level as the advancement of technology
significantly
has participated in the problem of obesity.
Furthermore
, canned food
is considered
a major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factor for this problem, since it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and tasty
in comparison
to the healthy food cooked at home.
In addition
, there are a plethora of physical activities to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not dedicate themselves.
As a result
, they lose their resistance power. If this lifestyle continues then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will fall ill more
frequently
.
For example
, the reports of 2020 exhibit that the number of children playing active sports dropped by approximately 20%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interest in computer games.

On other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
steps and recommendations should
be taken
to solve this problem.
Firstly
, promoting health awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and enforcing strict censorship on food advertisements are the best ways to combat this issue.
Similarly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and media should emphasize health education to individuals about the hazards of heaviness.
Moreover
, the bureaucrat takes steps to open multiple sports complexes and fitness studios near residential communities. To exemplify, the reports of 2021 exhibit that 90% of the respondents said they are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the gym or any physical activity centers.

In conclusion
, taking these points into consideration, from a personal perspective, without a shadow of a doubt, I
am inclined
to believe that stimulating somebody to do more active will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their fitness and
overall
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shed their weight.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing, and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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