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In some countries, people have to find work abroad. They have to move from family and friends. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh it's disadvantage?

In some countries, people have to find work abroad. They have to move from family and friends. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh it's disadvantage? wnQ7E
Many individuals from some notions are migrate to the foreign countries for asertain work and earning money, also they are stay away from their families and friends. I firmly believe that people go to abroad for doing work because in many countries masses are unemployed and to gain more knowledge and money. I will discuss my views with relative examples in subsequent paragraphs. One of the obvious benefits of migration to abroad is to earning some money because in many states people are well educated but still they do not get jobs due to the higher level of unemployment in this contemporary era, as a result, for getting employment people prefer to go to abroad. Hence, it is advantageous for them because they earn money and fulfill their needs and achieve desirable things. Moreover, the another concerning prominent merits of this scenario is that enhancing their knowledge and they make their future brighter in foreign countries because in abroad people come across in contact with the individuals of different nationalities and gather more knowledge which will be helpful to broaden their minds. However, as every coin has two sides, similarly, instead of pros there are also some cons of this development because people adopt the culture of other nations and forgive their traditional culture of their country. for instance, according to the survey report of experts in Brazil, in 2018, approximately sixty percent people migrate to foreign countries and adapt the culture of that nation and forget the heritage of their own country, which will be the major demerits of migration. To recapitulate, although there are more advantageous of migration such as earning money and getting employment but disadvantage cannot be underestimated which will be the main reason of forget the culture of their own country.
Many
individuals from
some
notions are
migrate
to the foreign
countries
for
asertain
work and earning
money
,
also
they are stay away from their families and friends. I
firmly
believe that
people
go to
abroad
for doing work
because
in
many
countries
masses
are unemployed
and to gain more knowledge and
money
. I will discuss my views with relative examples in subsequent paragraphs.

One of the obvious benefits of migration to
abroad
is
to earning
some
money
because
in
many
states
people
are
well educated
but
still
they do not
get
jobs due to the higher level of unemployment in this contemporary era,
as a result
, for getting employment
people
prefer to go to
abroad
.
Hence
, it is advantageous for them
because
they earn
money
and fulfill their needs and achieve desirable things.

Moreover
, the another concerning prominent merits of this scenario is that enhancing their
knowledge and
they
make
their future brighter in foreign
countries
because
in
abroad
people
come
across in contact with the individuals of
different
nationalities and gather more knowledge which will be helpful to broaden their minds.

However
, as every coin has two sides,
similarly
,
instead
of pros there are
also
some
cons of this development
because
people
adopt the
culture
of other nations and forgive their traditional
culture
of their
country
.
for
instance, according to the survey report of experts in Brazil, in 2018, approximately sixty percent
people
migrate to foreign
countries
and adapt the
culture
of that nation and forget the heritage of their
own
country
, which will be the major demerits of migration.

To recapitulate, although there are more advantageous of migration such as earning
money
and getting employment
but
disadvantage cannot
be underestimated
which will be the main reason of forget the
culture
of their
own
country
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, people have to find work abroad. They have to move from family and friends. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh it's disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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