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In some countries, parents who hit or otherwise punish children physically can be arrested and punished themselves. What is your opinion?

In some countries, parents who hit or otherwise punish children physically can be arrested and punished themselves. What is your opinion? 9LlX7
In many societies, some parents are arrested and being punished by the local government as they educate their children through physical punishment is considered a form of abuse. From my perspective, in order to restrict children's bad behaviours, punishment from their parents are needed as long as they are not too much. In many societies, some parents are arrested, and being punished by the local government as they physically punish their children is considered a form of abuse. From my perspective, in order to restrict children's bad behaviours, punishments from their parents are needed as long as they are not too much. Some people believe that if parents physically punish their son or daughter, it will leave negative effects both physical and psychological on children. Firstly, excessive corporal retributions will leave scars on youth's bodies, while those punishments keep their mind stay in high tension. For example, scientists suggested hitting will decrease the mental development of children since a peaceful and quiet environment is the best study atmosphere for students and beating only make them angry and scare. Hence, parents ought to limit all kinds of physical punishment to protect the physical and mental health of their children. On the flip hand, it does not mean all the punishment is bad for children's growth. Juniors will restrict their wrong behaviours in the future after being punished by it. Because those punishments make them think twice before taking any actions, where the discipline reminds them about the consequences. For instance, a Chinese child department interviewed adults on the street and over seventy per cent of them said they are afraid to commit bad things again after receiving the punishment when they were teenagers. Therefore, these punishments are necessary for education if they are not too harsh for little children. In conclusion, it is true that physical punishments indeed help children to grow as better people in societies, nevertheless, they are not supposed to be too strict as they leave marks on children's minds.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are arrested
and
being punished
by the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as they educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is considered
a form of abuse. From my perspective, in order to restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are needed
as long as they are not too much.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are arrested
, and
being punished
by the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as they
physically
punish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is considered
a form of abuse. From my perspective, in order to restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are needed
as long as they are not too much.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
physically
punish their son or daughter, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and psychological on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, excessive corporal retributions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
scars on youth's bodies, while those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their mind stay in high tension.
For example
, scientists suggested hitting will decrease the mental development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since a peaceful and quiet environment is the best study atmosphere for students and beating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them angry and scare.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to limit all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental health of their children.

On the flip hand, it does not mean all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
growth. Juniors will restrict their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in the future after
being punished
by it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking any actions, where the discipline reminds them about the consequences.
For instance
, a Chinese child department interviewed adults on the street and over seventy per cent of them said they are afraid to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things again after receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
when they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are necessary for education if they are not too harsh for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
children.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow as better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in societies,
nevertheless
, they are not supposed to be too strict as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
marks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
minds.
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IELTS essay In some countries, parents who hit or otherwise punish children physically can be arrested and punished themselves. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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