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In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people, Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people, Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation? 0Nq1
Nowadays, accommodation has become a very essential factor in some parts of the world. While some people prefer to own a home, others rent one. In this essay, the reasons as well as the advantages and disadvantages of this issue are discussed. Owning a home is a point of interest because of two different reasons. Firstly, rental payment is high in some countries especially in urban areas, as a result the tenant should pay high amount of mortgages while if owning the house they do not have the stress of paying the rent each month or week depending on the country they live in. The second reason is, in many parts of the globe buying a house is an investment. For example, in Iran due to inflation if someone bought a house three years ago, at the recent year it would be three times as high as the price he paid at first. In my opinion, the benefits of owning a house outweighs its drawbacks. One reason is that if each family owns a house for themselves they would feel more confident and also they can decorate their house the way that suits them, while when the person is living in a rental house it is prohibited to change the decoration and if they do, they have to compensate later when leaving the house. For instance, a family with three children owning a house with two bedrooms for the kids can divide one of the bedrooms to two parts so each child has a place for himself. Also an increase in the number of people owning their house instead of renting them leads to the reduction of the rental payment, so those who are challenging with poverty can also have an accommodation for themselves. As an example, in Iran in some rural areas most people have their own house and fewer people rent, this fact causes less rental payment for tenants at these parts of the country. On the other hand, in big cities and towns most people are tenants and the competition between these people resulted in higher rate of rent and mortgages. In another words, in urban areas a small proportion of people are the owners of high percentage of the houses and most people are renting. However, this statement has some problems such as overpopulation in big cities, in a case that the housing rent declines more people would be attracted to live in towns instead of the countryside or villages, in my idea this issue may be solved by growing the job opportunities in rural areas. As a conclusion, owning a house is money saving and less stressful. It can be beneficial in many ways such as giving confidence to the family owning the house and reducing the rental payment.
Nowadays, accommodation has become a
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very
essential factor in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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parts
of the world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
one. In this essay, the
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reasons
as well
as the advantages and disadvantages of this issue
are discussed
.

Owning a home is a point of interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
especially
in urban areas,
as a result
the tenant should pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
amount of mortgages while if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
they do not have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of paying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
each month or week depending on the country they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. The second
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reason
is, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the globe buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is an investment.
For example
, in Iran due to inflation if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
three years ago, at the recent year it would be three times as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
as the price he paid at
first
.

In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
outweighs its drawbacks. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that if each family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for themselves they would feel more confident and
also
they can decorate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
the way that suits them, while when the person is living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
it
is prohibited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the decoration and if they do, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compensate later when leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
For instance
, a family with three children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
with two bedrooms for the kids can divide one of the bedrooms to two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
each child has a place for himself.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
instead
of renting them leads to the reduction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
those who are challenging with poverty can
also
have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
for themselves. As an example, in Iran in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rural areas most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
, this fact causes less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
for tenants at these
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parts
of the country.
On the other hand
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities and towns most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tenants and the competition between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
resulted in higher rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
and mortgages. In
Did you mean "in other words"?
another words
, in urban areas a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are renting.

However
, this statement has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems such as overpopulation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, in a case that the housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
declines more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be attracted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in towns
instead
of the countryside or villages, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
this issue may
be solved
by growing the job opportunities in rural areas.

As a conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is money saving and less stressful. It can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways such as giving confidence to the family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
.
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IELTS essay In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people, Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
464 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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