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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? wNWd
In developing countries like India, accommodation is always a problem because of increasing population density. Many people like to live in their own homes rather in rented one because of comfort and security. In my opinion, financial capacity of person concludes that situation is positive or negative. To embark with, the underlying reasons attributed to this ideology are two-fold. Primarily people owing a home neither need to worry about the landlords nor have worry to pay monthly rent. Hence, they can save money or use for more productive purpose which they would have to pay if they rent a home. Besides this, people consider home as most secure and safe place. As such, they like to decorate and lavish it with all amenities that directly contributes in terms of comfort. It has been proven many times that people live in self-owned homes are more happier than people living as tenants. The question arise, Is this perspective negative or positive? I believe, it varies from person to person. For people who are affluent enough to buy own house or have few financial liabilities, their house is asset. Hence, buying house remains a positive situation for them. However, due to sophisticated budget, buy or construct own house is still a dream for many middle class or lower class families. For this they need to take loan at high interest rates. As a result, they have to pay interest and principal amount on monthly basis. Furthermore, the electricity and overhead costs get added to their everyday expense. To conclude, I feel owing home is a pleasure experience if done within a budget; however, it could turn into negative situation when a person buys a home by getting a loan that is beyond their paying capacity.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like India, accommodation is always a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing population density.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
rather
in rented one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of comfort and security. In my opinion, financial capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
concludes that situation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

To embark with, the underlying reasons attributed to this ideology are two-fold.
Primarily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owing a home neither need to worry about the landlords nor have worry to pay monthly rent.
Hence
, they can save money or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for more productive purpose which they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay if they rent a home.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider home as most secure and safe place. As such, they like to decorate and lavish it with all amenities that
directly
contributes in terms of comfort. It has
been proven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in self-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living as tenants.

The question arise, Is this perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
? I believe, it varies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are affluent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
or have few financial liabilities, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is asset.
Hence
, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
remains a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
situation for them.
However
, due to sophisticated budget,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or construct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is
still
a dream for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families. For this they need to take loan at high interest rates.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay interest and principal amount on monthly basis.
Furthermore
, the electricity and overhead costs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to their everyday expense.

To conclude
, I feel owing home is a pleasure experience if done within a budget;
however
, it could turn into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
situation when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
a home by getting a loan
that is
beyond their paying capacity.
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IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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