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The only way to solve increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

The only way to solve increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. kAwN
Better parenting skills are the only solution to curb growing crime rate among young offenders. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the notion because parents always enrich constructive skills in their children. The paramount cause which provokes young criminals to commit crime is not the bad parenting instead the unavailability of resources and poverty. To start with, parents are always considerate for their child’s development. They try to develop positive skills in their off springs by imitating themselves as the groomed personality, which is itself an example of commendable parenting skills. Admittedly, none of the parents want their children’s to be criminals. Therefore, it is agreed that teaching better parenting skills will not going to be helpful to control the crime rate in youth. Another important reason for not considering parenting skills as the sole way to control crime is analyzing the cause of crime in young offenders. They commit crime due to scarcity of resources to fulfill their wants. Growing affluence and revolutionized technological gadgets influenced youngsters to grab these through easy money. Criminal activities such as snatching, pickpocketing, and stealing are the easiest way to achieve such things. For instance, last week in Karachi, Pakistan, a seventeen year old boy was caught; he was snatching the apple phone and the apple watch. Upon investigation, he revealed that he was enticed to such devices and due to poverty and unavailability of resource, he could not afford this. Therefore, he commits such crimes. Further, he also feared that his parents will be stressed due to his illegitimate act because they always wanted them to be good human being. To conclude, crime rates among youngsters are increasing rapidly. I strongly believe that in order to solve the situation teaching parenting skills is a preposterous approach because parents are concerned for good upbringing of their children instead governmental authorities ought to look for the principal causes of crimes that is lack of resources due to poverty and provide avenues to solve it.
Better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to curb growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate among young offenders. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree with the notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always enrich constructive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in their children. The paramount cause which provokes young criminals to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
instead
the unavailability of resources and poverty.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are always considerate for their child’s development. They try to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in their off springs by imitating themselves as the groomed personality, which is itself an example of commendable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Admittedly
, none of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want their children’s to be criminals.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that teaching better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will not
The verb 'will' requires base form of the verb: "go"
going
to be helpful to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in youth.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason for not considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as the sole way to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is analyzing the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in young offenders. They commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to scarcity of resources to fulfill their wants. Growing affluence and revolutionized technological gadgets influenced youngsters to grab these through easy money. Criminal activities such as snatching,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
, and stealing are the easiest way to achieve such things.
For instance
, last week in Karachi, Pakistan, a seventeen year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy
was caught
; he was snatching the apple phone and the apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. Upon investigation, he revealed that he
was enticed
to such devices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to poverty and unavailability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
, he could not afford this.
Therefore
, he commits such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Further
, he
also
feared that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to his illegitimate act
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always wanted them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
human being.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates among youngsters are increasing
rapidly
. I
strongly
believe that in order to solve the situation teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is a preposterous approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are concerned
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
upbringing of their children
instead
governmental authorities ought to look for the principal causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that is
lack of resources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to poverty and provide avenues to solve it.

IELTS essay The only way to solve increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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