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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. KBbN
Nowadays, online shopping has become increasingly popular. It's prominent not only for its convenience but also for the competitive pricing and offers throughout the year. People prefer to shop online instead of visiting a shop, and I think this may eventually lead to the closing down of shops in towns and cities soon. There are many challenges in setting up shop, sustain the business, and remain profitable. Initially, a large investment is required to set up the shop, and it might take quite some time to establish. To sustain, they need to build the business by attracting customers. To remain profitable, they need superior control on operating costs like payment of rents and salaries to employees. Despite their best effort, some shops fail and close down eventually. On the other hand, online businesses are very profitable. Unlike shops, they don't need a huge investment to set up the outlets or build stocks. Various online platforms are available to establish, promote and sustain the business. Transactions volume is the critical factor for profitability. Moreover, online businesses can be set up in a short period and reach a large customer. Besides, they promote products throughout the year, attracting customers with offers and flash sales. In some cases, products get delivered on the same day. Various features like order tracking, returning the goods, compare and review products are convenient for customers. In summary, compared to shops, online businesses dominates and adopt innovative methods to increase sales. I believe shops are unlikely to survive in the future.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping has become
increasingly
popular. It's prominent not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for its convenience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the competitive pricing and offers throughout the year.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
instead
of visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this may
eventually
lead to the closing down of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges in setting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, sustain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, and remain profitable.
Initially
, a large investment
is required
to set up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, and it might take quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to establish. To sustain, they need to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by attracting customers. To remain profitable, they need superior control on operating costs like payment of rents and salaries to employees. Despite their best effort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
fail and close down
eventually
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
profitable. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, they don't need a huge investment to set up the outlets or build stocks.

Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms are available to establish, promote and sustain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Transactions volume is the critical factor for profitability.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
can
be set
up in a short period and reach a large customer.

Besides
, they promote products throughout the year, attracting customers with offers and flash sales. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
delivered on the same day. Various features like order tracking, returning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, compare and review products are convenient for customers.

In summary, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
dominates and adopt innovative methods to increase sales. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are unlikely to survive in the future.

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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