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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is true that in some countries, ownership of houses is very essential for some people compared with renting houses. There are a variety of reasons for this opinion, and I believe that it can be a positive situation if governments adopt suitable policies. Owning a shelter is a crucial and vital need for everyone and it has different reasons. Firstly, people feel better when they own something valuable, while they are not content if they live in rented house. Secondly, buying houses is a mean of investment, particularly in countries whose inflation rate is high. In Iran, for example, the price of houses is increasing dramatically in recent years. In fact, buying houses is an approach to preserve the value of their money. Thirdly, it is a major achievement for some people, considering it as a sense of power. Finally, homeowners can provide their children with a bright future by inheriting a house. This opinion can have some advantages providing that the policy-makers make good decisions. By trying people to purchase houses, it brings prosperity to their economy which can prevent countries from economic recession. In addition, government should take serious measures to balance the demand and need rate in houses, which can prevent from sharp rise in prices. Not only do it help people to buy houses more convenient but it also encourages the investors to enter this market. For instance, some countries are introducing migration programs by buying or investing money in house market for foreign people in turn it could prosper their economy. Also, these initiatives can have some merits to their tourism industry or attracting versatile workforce in various fields. In conclusion, there are many reasons for people to consider the ownership of houses as an indispensable issue and I think that there are some benefits in this opinion which should managed properly by governments.
It is true that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compared with renting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. There are a variety of reasons for this opinion, and I believe that it can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
situation if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
adopt suitable policies.

Owning a shelter is a crucial and vital need for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
everyone and
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel better when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
something valuable, while they are not content if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Secondly
, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
is a mean of investment,
particularly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whose inflation rate is high. In Iran,
for example
, the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
is increasing
dramatically
in recent years. In fact, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
is an approach to preserve the value of their money.
Thirdly
, it is a major achievement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, considering it as a sense of power.
Finally
, homeowners can provide their children with a bright future by inheriting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

This opinion can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages providing that the policy-makers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions. By trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, it brings prosperity to their economy which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from economic recession.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take serious measures to balance the demand and need rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from sharp rise in prices. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
more convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
encourages the investors to enter this market.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are introducing migration programs by buying or investing money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
market for foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in turn it could prosper their economy.
Also
, these initiatives can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits to their tourism industry or attracting versatile workforce in various fields.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consider the ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
as an indispensable issue and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits in this opinion which should managed
properly
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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