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In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think it's a negative or positive situation?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think it's a negative or positive situation? 316l
It is believed that in certain countries the population has the propensity to have a house instead of renting. The reason why people opt for having the house is that living in a self-owned house makes people feel secure as well as comfortable. I suppose it is the positive case since it regards the natural human desires. To begin with, provided that people observe nature they could see that the desire of owning a house is inherited. People seek for a house in order to be peaceful and feel secure as well as other reasons, such as being independent when it comes to decoration, renovation exc. Although it became tough to get a loan due to the elevations in the interest rates people still proceed to purchase houses. As far as I am concerned, owning a house has a plethora of pros. People having their own house do not have trouble paying rent or getting by with a landlord. Provided that people had their own house, they would not have to worry about the increasing of the rent or would not have to encounter the fear of if they will be kicked out from the house. On top of that, the majority of the countries, for instance, provide mortgages which are the equivalent of paying rent, which is the principle cause of why owning a house became rife. To conclude, the hardships on owning a house varies depending on where people live. However it is conspicuous that having a house has a bunch of positive sides which is the reason why it became commonplace.
It
is believed
that in certain countries the population has the propensity to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
instead
of renting. The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt for having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is that living in a self-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel secure
as well
as comfortable. I suppose it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
case since it regards the natural human desires.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
observe nature they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the desire of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is inherited
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
seek for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in order to be peaceful and feel secure
as well
as other reasons, such as being independent when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to decoration, renovation
Possible spelling mistake found.
exc
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it became tough to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a loan due to the elevations in the interest rates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
proceed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
has a plethora of pros.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
do not have trouble paying rent or getting by with a landlord. Provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, they would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the increasing of the rent or would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encounter the fear of if they will
be kicked
out from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
On top of that
, the majority of the countries,
for instance
, provide mortgages which are the equivalent of paying rent, which is the
Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
cause of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
became rife.

To conclude
, the hardships on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
varies depending on where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is conspicuous that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
has a bunch of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides which is the reason why it became commonplace.
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IELTS essay In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think it's a negative or positive situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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