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In some countries opening a home rather then renting one is very important for people. why might this be the cause. Do you think this is positive or negative situation.

In some countries opening a home rather then renting one is very important for people. why might this be the cause. Do you think this is positive or negative situation. R15Q
Home play the crucial role for each and every person life. home is place for living with the family. In my opinion, this part of a life to fulfill desire and provide security. To begin with, owning of home is dream for every person life. ownship of home person free from the stress and worries. for instance don't worries to pay for rent as well as feel secure. However own home people they spend money according to taste, design, decoration and maintenance so on. Along with they can built for house own choice anterior or posterior design and setup. Further moving, renting home is a given for the burden of people, along with rent and other maintenance. for example middle class people. They belong to laboure community. we are not able to buy owner house. Which is out of budget. They are take some loans form bankers for heavily intrest. To Epitome They have to pay property taxes and insurance which are directly proportional to the area of a home. Further more the electricity and maintenance costs get added to their every expenses. To conclusion, opening a home is innately desirable but in the end cause more harm than good due to pressure. It place on individuals. Many people have learned this lesson and home ownership may begin to decline in the future.
Home play the crucial role for each and every person life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
home
is place for living with the family. In my opinion, this part of a life to fulfill desire and provide security. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, owning of home is dream for every person life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ownship
of home person free from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and worries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance don't
Did you mean "worry"?
worries
to pay for rent
as well
as feel secure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they spend money according to taste, design, decoration and maintenance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Along with they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "build"
built
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice anterior or posterior design and setup.
Further
moving, renting home is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, along with rent and other maintenance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They belong to
Possible spelling mistake found.
laboure
community.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
owner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Which is out of budget. They are take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
loans form bankers for
heavily
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
. To Epitome They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay property taxes and insurance which are
directly
proportional to the area of a home.
Further
more the electricity and maintenance costs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to their every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "expense"?
expenses
. To conclusion, opening a home is
innately
desirable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
cause more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
due to pressure. It
Did you mean "places"?
place
on individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have learned this lesson and home ownership may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to decline in the future.
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IELTS essay In some countries opening a home rather then renting one is very important for people. why might this be the cause. Do you think this is positive or negative situation.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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