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In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However, some people think that spending money on these celebrations is a waste. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However, some people think that spending money on these celebrations is a waste. with this view? xJ06
The independence day of any country holds up an enormous value for each country, the day reminds its people about the value and importance of the homeland. Since, governments spend huge sum of money on the celebration of this day some people think that celebration is good, while others think the government should not throw their money on marking of the day. This essay supports the idea of making the national day eventful. To begin with, the observance of federal holidays are necessary as the day revive the value of country among its people. Countrymen usually do not know much about the country's values and mostly forget about it, therefore, such events enlighten the importance of values. For Example, China on its public holiday exhibited its armed assets so Chinese people would know how much they are prepared to face war. On other hand, a country day itself is celebrated to realize its existence, however, in the name of the national day, some countries celebrate fancy festivals for fun and entertainment which does not add any value to country's importance but eats up a lot of money, for instance, recently in UAE a film festival was organized on independence day where celebrities from around the world were invited, although the event gathered all the limelight but did not show anything regarding the country’s esteem. In conclusion, The public day of any country marks its importance and shall be spent with great honor and ethics, moreover, it shall not be misused to show off the wealth and uncultured festive and events. The day should be utilized for recalling the country's worth and values so that the day can be best availed.
The
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
independence day
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
holds up an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
for each
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country
, the day reminds its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of the homeland. Since,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend huge sum of money on the celebration of this day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that celebration is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not throw their money on marking of the day. This essay supports the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of making the national day eventful.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the observance of federal holidays are necessary as the day revive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
among its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Countrymen
usually
do not know much about the country's values and
mostly
forget about it,
therefore
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
enlighten the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of values.
For Example
, China on its public holiday exhibited its armed assets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would know how much they
are prepared
to face war.

On other hand, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
day itself
is celebrated
to realize its existence,
however
, in the name of the national day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
celebrate fancy festivals for fun and entertainment which does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
to country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
eats up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money,
for instance
, recently
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
a film festival
was organized
on
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
independence day
where celebrities from around the world
were invited
, although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
gathered all the limelight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
anything regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
esteem.

In conclusion
, The public day of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
marks its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
and shall
be spent
with great honor and ethics,
moreover
, it shall not
be misused
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off the wealth and uncultured festive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. The day should
be utilized
for recalling the country's worth and values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the day can be best availed.
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IELTS essay In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However, some people think that spending money on these celebrations is a waste. with this view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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