Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, only a few young people go to classical music concerts or plays and performances in theater. Why? SHOULD YOUNG PEOPLE BE ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND MORE CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS AND PERFORMANCES?

Innovation has appeared in every single aspect of the world, and entertainment is not an exception. Therefore, teenagers nowadays are considerably less interested in being audiences in theatre, which results in numerous criticism claiming that the youth should be supported to come to those places. In my opinion, I am in disapproval of this contention. The explanation will be given after discussing some reasons for the decreased number of teenagers attending theatre. To begin with, the main reason for the descendant of young people coming to classical concerts or plays is that this kind of entertainment is no longer suitable for them. Society has adopted more types of recreations, which can match teenagers' favor. For instance, cinemas, EDM festivals are widely preferred thanks to their energetic intrinsics. Meanwhile, classical performances are so fluty that hardly can they satisfy the crazy nature of the youth. That's why young people nowadays tend to less prefer coming to theatre. To the best of my knowledge, I believe that encouragement for teenagers attending theatre performances is not necessary. Firstly, the innovation of recreations throughout different eras is a must. We should not support the millennials to have an interest in classical performances because their forebears did. What's more, each century has its own taste of art and that's explaining for the different favourite recreations of teenagers and older generations. In addition, such courage can lead to adverse effects on young people because of their unstable intrinsic and the distaste for classical performances. There are few arguments saying that the cultural-historic values will disappear if millennials are not supported to attend theatre. Although I agree that this thought has some validity, I think it is exaggerated. The flow of times will gradually make the characteristic of teenagers more suitable for classical concerts or plays as they become mature. Consequently, these historic artistic features will be preserved, then passed down for the offsprings and continue to exist. Having analysed all things above, I greatly believe that we ought not to make intervention in the millennials' favourite entertainments so as to remaining their distinctive taste. Classical music concerts or plays and performances in theatre will come naturally to the youth as time passes.
Innovation has appeared in every single aspect of the world, and entertainment is not an exception.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
nowadays are
considerably
less interested in being audiences in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
, which results in numerous criticism claiming that the youth should
be supported
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to those places. In my opinion, I am in disapproval of this contention. The explanation will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
after discussing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for the decreased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
attending
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason for the descendant of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
concerts or plays is that this kind of entertainment is no longer suitable for them. Society has adopted more types of recreations, which can match
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
' favor.
For instance
, cinemas, EDM festivals are
widely
preferred thanks to their energetic
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrinsics
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
fluty
that hardly can they satisfy the crazy nature of the youth. That's why young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays tend to less prefer coming to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
.

To the best of my knowledge, I believe that encouragement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
attending
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
is not necessary.
Firstly
, the innovation of recreations throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
eras is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. We should not support the millennials to have an interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their forebears did. What's more, each century has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
taste of art and that's explaining for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
recreations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and older generations.
In addition
, such courage can lead to adverse effects on young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their unstable intrinsic and the distaste for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
performances.

There are few arguments saying that the cultural-historic values will disappear if millennials are not supported to attend
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
validity, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is exaggerated
. The flow of times will
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the characteristic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
more suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
concerts or plays as they become mature.
Consequently
, these historic artistic features will
be preserved
, then passed down for the offsprings and continue to exist.

Having
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analysed’ is British English.
analysed
all things above, I
greatly
believe that we ought not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
intervention in the millennials'
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
entertainments
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
remaining their distinctive taste.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
music concerts or plays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
naturally
to the youth as time passes.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some countries, only a few young people go to classical music concerts or plays and performances in theater. Why? SHOULD YOUNG PEOPLE BE ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND MORE CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS AND PERFORMANCES?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts