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In some countries, nowadays many are choosing to live by themselves. Do you think this is a positive or negative effect in development of society?

In recent year many youngsters especially in urban countries chooses to live by themselves than living with their family, which will impact positively and negatively in social development. I believe negative impacts outweighs positive. Firstly, when people choose to live alone, they get a private life without any family member’s interference, where they will learn to earn, spend, clean and cook by themselves. This will make individual to be strong and courageous to face any sort of problems aroused in the society. Secondly, when individuals choose to live alone, they might not be able to mingle in the society but there will a chance to spend more time on social media and form a relationship with peer members of social media society. Which will help in development of interpersonal relationship in society. On other hand, when seeing the negative impacts, after individuals move alone, they might not be able to share their feelings to peer members. They will have to keep all the feelings into themselves. As a result, their stress and anxiety level will increase and will lead to bad outcomes. For example, these days we could see the rising amount of suicide cases, which is the results of over stress. Moreover, they will never know the love, care and protection given by family. Especially, people nowadays do not even know the neighbors next door. They never give themselves a chance to form a relationship with society and even does not know the happiness of engaging in social activities or in maintaining social relationship. To conclude, when individuals choose to live by themselves, they not only lead a stressful life but also impacts negatively in social development. People should choose wisely to live alone or to live with family by considering and thinking about their inner peace and happiness. Especially, youngsters should refrain from living alone and should choose to live with family and help in social development.
In recent year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters
especially
in urban countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chooses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by

themselves than living with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
positively
and
negatively
in

social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
outweighs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

Firstly
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a private life without any family

member’s interference, where they will learn to earn, spend, clean and cook by

themselves. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to be strong and courageous to face any sort of

problems aroused in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, they

might not be able to mingle in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will a chance to spend more time on

social media and form a relationship with peer members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which


will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of interpersonal relationship in society.

On other hand, when seeing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, they

might not be able to share their feelings to peer members. They will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all the

feelings into themselves.
As a result
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety level will increase and will

lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcomes.
For example
, these days we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the rising amount of

suicide cases, which is the results of over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Moreover
, they will never know the

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, care and protection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Especially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays do not even

know the neighbors
next
door. They never give themselves a chance to form a

relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and even does not know the happiness of engaging in social

activities or in maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relationship.

To conclude
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead a

stressful life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
negatively
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should choose

wisely
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by considering and thinking about their inner

peace and happiness.
Especially
, youngsters should refrain from living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
and

should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, nowadays many are choosing to live by themselves. Do you think this is a positive or negative effect in development of society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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