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In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? pxKy
There is a common belief that various young adults are going to live with their mom and dad even after they have graduated and had jobs. In my opinion, while some benefits can be seen from this, the drawbacks, including practicing to live independently and building their own life are more significant. Admittedly, it is justifiable to a certain degree that sharing the same house with parents is a good choice for the adults who have just graduated from university and people who are seeking employment. To be more specific, it can save a large amount of money from renting an accommodation as they can not afford to buy their own house. For example, even though the savings they have made from having a part-time job are maybe not enough to afford a new apartment, it can be used for some other purposes such as buying a new phone or a new computer for the demands of their own hobbies. On the other hand, although this trend has some positive points, it is not without drawbacks. Firstly, there are several reasons why people graduating from university in recent days are devoting a lot of time to become independent from their parents. Therefore, sons and daughters are financially dependent upon parents despite the fact that it is the responsibility of parents to teach their children to have real-life experiences and vital soft skills to dispense more employment opportunities for them. Secondly, if the youngsters can not expose themselves to gain in-depth knowledge to enter employment, they can never have a chance to educate themselves in managing their own personal finances. In conclusion, young adults can still live with their parents to certain expectations, besides that, they need to know how to live independently as parents will not be able to follow them for each step in their own life.
There is a common belief that various young adults are going to
live
with their mom and dad even after they have graduated and had jobs. In my opinion, while
some
benefits can be
seen
from this, the drawbacks, including practicing to
live
independently
and building their
own
life are more significant.

Admittedly
, it is justifiable to a certain degree that sharing the same
house
with
parents
is a
good
choice for the adults who have
just
graduated from university and
people
who are seeking employment. To be more specific, it can save a large amount of money from renting
an accommodation
as they can not afford to
buy
their
own
house
.
For example
,
even though
the savings they have made from having a part-time job are maybe not
enough
to afford a new apartment, it can be
used
for
some
other purposes such as buying a new phone or a new computer for the demands of their
own
hobbies.

On the other hand
, although this trend has
some
positive
points, it is not without drawbacks.
Firstly
, there are several reasons why
people
graduating from university in recent days are devoting
a lot of
time to become
independent from
their
parents
.
Therefore
, sons and daughters are
financially
dependent upon
parents
despite the fact that it is the responsibility of
parents
to teach their children to have real-life experiences and vital soft
skills
to dispense more employment opportunities for them.
Secondly
, if the youngsters can not expose themselves to gain in-depth knowledge to enter employment, they can never have a chance to educate themselves in managing their
own
personal finances.

In conclusion
, young adults can
still
live
with their
parents
to certain expectations,
besides
that, they need to know how to
live
independently
as
parents
will not be able to follow them for each step in their
own
life.
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IELTS essay In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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