Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past Do you think this is a positive or negative development v.1

In some countries many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past Do you think this is a positive or negative development v. 1
In the modern society, many couples have delayed parenthood unlike in the past. There are some reasons behind this trend, and I strongly believe that there are more drawbacks than benefits to this development. To begin with, a few reasons can be given to justify the trend of giving birth at later stages of life. First, the labour market is becoming more competitive and it is quite normal that parents decide not to have a child during the early years of their marriage. In other words, as women start to pursue higher studies and enter the workforce, they tend to delay their marriage and have children later in their life; they cannot balance family and work due to the responsibilities of childbearing and parenting. Second, some couples do not want to sacrifice their social life by having children when they are young. To be more precise, having children during the initial years of their marriage will deprive them of the opportunity to enjoy life as they want. For example, the majority of young couples prefer travelling and enjoying their life to sitting at home and raising their children On the other hand, I feel that there are several negative effects of this trend. First, delaying pregnancy can lead to some health complications. Fertility starts to decline after the age of thirty, and babies born after this age can have a higher risk of health conditions such as Down`s syndrome and other genetic birth defects. Second, having a child later can cause a significant age gap between the two generations and this will make it harder for parents to communicate with their children. Besides, it will be financially demanding for parents to send their young children to colleges or universities when they are close to retirement or universities, and this could mean delayed or difficult retirement for parents. To conclude, people prefer having children later in life because they want to improve their career and enjoy their social life. However, I strongly believe that the demerits of this development far outweigh the merits.
In the modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples have delayed parenthood unlike in the past. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons behind this trend, and I
strongly
believe that there are more drawbacks than benefits to this development.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a few reasons can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to justify the trend of giving birth at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
First
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market is becoming more competitive and it is quite normal that parents decide not to have a child during the early years of their marriage.
In other words
, as women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to pursue higher studies and enter the workforce, they tend to delay their marriage and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; they cannot balance family and work due to the responsibilities of childbearing and parenting. Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
couples do not want to sacrifice their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they are young. To be more precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during the initial years of their marriage will deprive them of the opportunity to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as they want.
For example
, the majority of young couples prefer travelling and enjoying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to sitting at home and raising their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children


On the other hand
, I feel that there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this trend.
First
, delaying pregnancy can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health complications. Fertility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to decline after the age of thirty, and babies born after this age can have a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of health conditions such as
The character between 'Down' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "Down’s" (curly apostrophe) or "Down's" (straight apostrophe).
Down`s
syndrome and other genetic birth defects. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
can cause a significant age gap between the two generations and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it harder for parents to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Besides
, it will be
financially
demanding for parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to colleges or universities when they are close to retirement or universities, and this could mean delayed or difficult retirement for parents.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their career and enjoy their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, I
strongly
believe that the demerits of this development far outweigh the merits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past Do you think this is a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts