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In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.6

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6
An Increasing number of people now prefer to live alone as compared to the past. I personally believe that it is a negative development because while living alone, we will not able to help each other in an emergency situation and living alone also encourages us do not think about the problems of others and live a selfish life. People now prefer to live alone and by living in separate house we will not help those who faces predicament. This is to say that when someone lives in a different house we are not aware of their situation, what they are going through, thus, we could not help them while they are facing any kind of difficulty in their lives. For example, one of my uncle used to live in an apartment alone when he got a heart attack, he was not in the situation to tell anyone and no one knew what he was going through at that time and after his death his neighbours came to know after 2days of his death then they called us to say that he had died. Living alone also cause selfishness. In other words, we do not want to listen others’ point of view and consider that we are right. For example, a new article of the Jang newspaper reported that 70% of people do not want to live in joint family system in Karachi, which is the largest city of Pakistan, because they do not want to endure others’ opinion and think selfishly just for their own self. In conclusion, although the graph of the people is rising who wants to live alone, I believe it is a negative development because it encourages us to live a selfish life and we are not in the position of helping others at their worst time.
An Increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
as compared to the past.

I
personally
believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
while living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, we will not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in an emergency situation and living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
also
encourages us do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the problems of others and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a selfish life.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
and by living in separate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
we will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who faces predicament. This is to say that when someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
we are not aware of their situation, what they are going through,
thus
, we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them while they are facing any kind of difficulty in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
, one of my uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in an apartment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a heart attack, he was not in the situation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
anyone and no one knew what he was going through at that time and after his death his
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
came to know after 2days of his death then they called us to say that he had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
.

Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
also
cause selfishness. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to listen others’ point of view and consider that we are right.
For example
, a new article of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jang
newspaper reported that 70% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in joint family system in Karachi, which is the largest city of Pakistan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to endure others’ opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
selfishly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self.

In conclusion
, although the graph of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is rising who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, I believe it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it encourages us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a selfish
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
we are not in the position of helping others at their worst time.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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