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In some countries, it is usual for young people who graduate from high school to spend a year working or travelling before going to university.

In some countries, it is usual for young people who graduate from high school to spend a year working or travelling before going to university. Ed9Ox
Teenagers, who finished a high school, often take one year break for vacation or working before to start a college. Having a break would certainly help those who are young to decide a bachelor program and this break can expand their horizon. However, this can cause some drawbacks as well such as being late or losing motivation to start again after a long time. One reason that spending one year with travelling or working would be advantageous is that it would give those young people some time to decide what they really want. Sometimes it’s really difficult to find out about our own abilities and interest in fact while some old people are complaining about this fact how those teenagers can decide properly? Another benefit to having one year off with travelling or working is that would help to expand those young people horizons. They can discover many things about themselves and learn about life, relationships or so on and it lead them to be more mature. On the other hand, there are obvious disadvantages to take a year break after high school. First of all, it causes to lose some time of life and this can be a problem for some people. Even dough we make plans, there are lots of unexpected events for all of us. Being late may be a regret when we meet those events. Secondly, one year is a long time and being far away to school life like this long can cause to lose motivation for starting a college. There is a certain times for somethings in life that we should do on the time, otherwise it may be time for something else. As a conclusion, taking a break before university has some plus points and this can change those young people life in a good way. However, depending on ones personality, it can be a big loss. Therefor, those who are quite young, should think deeply before deciding about this and ensure their future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
, who finished a high school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
for vacation or working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a college. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
would
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to decide a bachelor program and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
can expand their horizon.
However
, this can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
as well
such as being late or losing motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
again after a long time.

One reason that spending one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with travelling or working would be advantageous is that it would give those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to decide what they
really
want.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it’s
really
difficult to find out about our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities and interest in fact while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are complaining about this fact how those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can decide
properly
? Another benefit to having one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off with travelling or working is that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to expand those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
horizons. They can discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things about themselves and learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, relationships or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on and it
Did you mean "leads"?
lead
them to be more mature.

On the other hand
, there are obvious disadvantages to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
after high school.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it causes to lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and this can be a problem for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Even dough we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
plans, there are lots of unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
for all of us. Being late may be a regret when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Secondly
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and being far away to school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like this long can cause
Did you mean "losing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to lose
motivation for starting a college. There is a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for somethings in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that we should do on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
otherwise
it may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for something else.

As a conclusion, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
university has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plus points and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.
However
, depending on ones personality, it can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
loss. Therefor, those who are quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
deeply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding about this and ensure their future.
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IELTS essay In some countries, it is usual for young people who graduate from high school to spend a year working or travelling before going to university.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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