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In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

School or the same level education changing the lives of people around the world. People spend more their time at the office or even for their business. This problems sometimes causes parents to make decision to put their children start to study in formal education early. In my view better to begin formal education should be start at seven years old. Put the children join the education in early years, like four years old would make a litle trouble for the parents and also for the children. As we knew, children on that phase will choose more activities than doing formal education. They loved to play, like running, jumping, know a lot of friends, its make them more happy. It's does not mean that children who not going to formal education can not learn a new things. While they are playing they knew a lot of new subjects. Children at four years more easy to teach while they are learn new things or new subject with their parents or their family. Children with that ages will be dificult to teach by a teacher or new person in their life. Mostly of them felt uncomfortable. It can start them being tantrum and naughty. Another reason why we need to let the children not to join the formal education in early years, because we need to let them enjoying their chilhdood time. When they will start doing formal education, they will start to learn for resposibility for their own. Such as wake up early morning to prepare themselves for school, doing homework and others. By way of conclusion, we need to prepare our children first, before we decided them to joining formal education. Study with parents and family at their childhood time it's also prepare them for the next step of their education. And it help them to be more focus while they are studying at school.
School or the same level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
spend more their time at the office or even for their business.
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘problems’. Did you mean “these”?
This
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision to put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
. In my view better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
at seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

Put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
years, like four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
litle
trouble for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
also
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As we knew,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on that phase will choose more activities than doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to play, like running, jumping, know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
friends, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more happy. It's does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who not going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can not learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
they are playing they knew
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
subjects.

Children at four years more easy to teach while they are
Consider using either the past participle “learned”, “learnt” or the present participle “learning” here.
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
subject with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or their family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
with that ages will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
dificult
to teach by a teacher or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
person in their life.
Mostly
of them felt uncomfortable. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
them being tantrum and naughty.

Another reason why we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them enjoying their
Possible spelling mistake found.
chilhdood
time. When they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to learn for
Possible spelling mistake found.
resposibility
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Such as wake up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
morning to prepare themselves for school, doing homework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.

By way of conclusion, we need to prepare our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we decided them to joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Study with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and family at their childhood time it's
also
prepare them for the
next
step of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. And it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “helps”.
help
them to be more focus while they are studying at school.
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IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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