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In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views? 71WY
Some countries many parents thought that should send their children to school at four years old. On the other hand, they thought seven and eight years old are more suitable. I completely agree with sending the children are over seven or eight years old to begin formal education with my opinion. Firstly, the children have needed to learn primary life skill with themselves for surviving in the real world in the future since they was born to eight years old that because this skill significantly evolve in human's brain that age under eight years old. If their parents early send them to formal education, they will missed some big part of important skill to survival. For instance, the child never clime and falling down the tree by their innocent sense will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to school at four years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
On the other hand
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
seven and eight years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
are more suitable. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with sending the children are over seven or eight years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
formal education with my opinion.

Firstly
, the children have needed to learn primary life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
with themselves for surviving in the real world in the future since they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
born to eight years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
significantly
evolve in human's brain that age under eight years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. If their parents early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to formal education, they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "miss"
missed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to survival.
For instance
, the child never clime and falling down the tree by their innocent sense
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
will
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IELTS essay In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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