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In Some Countries In Europe, Some Children From The Age Of 11 Go To Schools To Learn More Practical Skills | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample

In Some Countries In Europe, Some Children From The Age Of 11 Go To Schools To Learn More Practical Skills | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample joO18
Nowadays, schools are preparing students to have both practical skills and academic knowledge. Many schools provide more practical learning whereas some give more of general academic education. This essay will discuss why some school (write: schools; use a plural noun after some provide more general academic education than practical education and put forward solution to prepare students for the world of work. The education system as a whole is focused more towards theoretical knowledge than practical knowledge. The syllabus being too outdated gives no value to the students, as it is very dated and less effective. For example, children studying old lessons makes them less aware of the recent news and developments. Many students lack corporate ethics, which hampers their ability to be more efficient. For example, many first jobbers find it difficult to cope up with the new job, as they lack practical skills. This also affects their productivity. Right mix of practical and theory should be taught by the schools so as to train the students to be more prepared for the world of work. As the curriculum and teaching strategies are very old and do not provide much help to the students, focus should be on introducing more practical aspects of learning and teaching to equip students with skills required for the workplace. Schools should conduct workshops to train students for work related problems and solutions. For example, class dedicated specifically to address work related queries and problems will help students be more aware of and confident when they start their first job. Providing internship projects will boost the confidence of the student and also make them more ready for the corporate world. For example, summer internships help the students to be more productive as well as be more employable. Practical learning will provide students the job skills they lack. Practice makes perfect; the more one practises the closer one will be towards perfection. Hence practical knowledge is very essential for being ready for the world of work beforehand. This essay discussed what schools can do to provide more practical knowledge to students for preparing them for the world of work.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
learning whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
give more of general academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This essay will discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
write:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a plural noun after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
more general academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and put forward solution to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of work.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system as a whole
is focused
more towards theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. The syllabus being too outdated gives no value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dated and less effective. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, children studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them less aware of the recent news and developments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lack corporate ethics, which hampers their ability to be more efficient. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
first
jobbers find it difficult to cope up with the new job, as they lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This
also
affects their productivity. Right mix of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
and theory should
be taught
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
train the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more prepared for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of work.

As the curriculum and teaching strategies are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, focus should be on introducing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
aspects of learning and teaching
Did you mean "equipping"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'teach' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to equip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required for the workplace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should conduct workshops to train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related problems and solutions. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
dedicated
specifically
to address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related queries and problems will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be more aware of and confident when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
first
job. Providing internship projects will boost the confidence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more ready for the corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, summer internships
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more productive
as well
as be more employable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Practical
learning will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
they lack.

Practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
perfect; the more one
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
the closer one will be towards perfection.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for being ready for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
beforehand. This essay discussed what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can do to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for preparing them for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay In Some Countries In Europe, Some Children From The Age Of 11 Go To Schools To Learn More Practical Skills | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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